


Always With You

by sjst



Series: Heart skips a beat [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Depression, Depression Recovery, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, M/M, Marco is a football player, Mario is a physiotherapist, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:58:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 41,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4381844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sjst/pseuds/sjst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario works as a physiotherapist at Borussia Dortmund. There, he met Marco and they fell in love. They have been together for a few months now, and are living together, but of course, there is always bound to be new problems, and also some very happy moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home sweet home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> So this is the sequel to the work "The One Thing He Never Expected" I just finished. This work can however be read without having read the first part of this series, but, of course I recommend reading it to understand all of this story.
> 
> This story will focus on Mario's recovery from depression, the possible problems, Marco's and Mario's relationship getting even more serious and of course some unexpected things. 
> 
> I do hope you will enjoy this work too, and please tell me what you think, it would mean the world to me and make me more motivated to continue to know what you think about this, so I'd be more than pleased to have some feedback. 
> 
> And if anyone has any questions, don't hesitate to ask, I will answer everything! 
> 
> This first chapter is a little short, but I hope it will give you an idea about what this work will be and kind of give a look back to the first work of this series. 
> 
> Also thank you for Blue_Night for doing the beta reading and encouraging me to write this story :)
> 
> This work is pure fiction and has no connection to real life.

"Do you think we now have everything?" Mario heard Marco shout from the corridor. 

"Yes, I think so" Mario shouted back at him as he looked at his old apartment. They had just carried all of his stuff to a van Marco had rented, Mario would finally permanently move out of his old home, to Marco's home, and he couldn't wait for it. All the pain and sadness he had felt in this apartment would be gone, and Mario wouldn't have to be reminded of all the bad things anymore.

He looked at his old home one last time, feeling slightly melancholic, as he closed the door, sighing deeply. He had left the keys inside for his land owner to get them there, there was no turning back anymore, Mario didn't have his own home anymore. He took one of the cardboard boxes in his lap, Marco was already waiting for him in the elevator carrying some of Mario's stuff.

"So that was it" Mario said as he stepped into the elevator, and Marco pushed the button for the elevator to start descending. Marco smiled at him happily, and kissed Mario's cheek like he did quite often now, making it a wonderful habit.

"Yes, and I couldn't be more happy. Now you're really living with me, stuck with me, you couldn't go even if you wanted to!" Marco laughed and messed Mario's hair.

"As if I ever wanted to go!" Mario said and smiled at Marco. Of course, he had been living with Marco for a rather long time now, but it still was different now.

Marco and Mario lifted the boxes to the back of the van, and they began driving towards their home. Mario looked at all now familiar streets of Dortmund, watching how the sun settled down on the horizon. He loved this city so much, he never ever wanted to leave, and he hoped Marco had the same intentions. Mario had gone through so much here, and even though some of the memories were sad, he wouldn't want to change them for the world, because here he had met Marco, the love of his life, his world.

Marco parked the van in front of the house, and closed the gate behind them with a remote. He then took some of the boxes in his hands, as did Mario, and went to open the door. As soon as Marco had opened the door, Zoey, their golden retriever puppy, greeted them with jumping up and down and swinging her tale excitedly. Mario was barely able to close the door behind him, as the excited puppy kept wanting to get closer to him. Mario let the boxes fall on the floor and then took the puppy in his arms, letting her lick his chin and cheeks.

"Hey, that's not fair, I'm supposed to be the only one allowed to do that!" Marco whined and laughed at the same time as he put the boxes on the floor and hugged Mario from behind, letting Zoey lick his face too.

"Oh, someone is jealous!" Mario joked and put Zoey back on the floor. He turned around to face Marco, looking in his eyes with a happy smile on his face.

"Well, I have the right to be, seeing my boyfriend kissing someone else, and even worse, a girl!" Marco said trying to sound insulted but couldn't help but grin.

Mario just laughed at Marco, messing his hair before he said: "You know you're the only one who's allowed to do this with me," Mario said and took Marco head in his hands, kissing him deeply. During the few months they had been together, he had learned how to be comfortable around Marco, how to share his secrets with him, how to kiss him without worrying that he'd fail, he was able to be himself around Marco.

"I could never stand someone kissing you like this other than me" Marco said hoarsely.

"I wouldn't want to kiss anyone else like this" Mario told Marco and continued caressing Marco's cheeks.

"I swear to God if Robert would have tried to kiss you I would've punched him" Marco said out of the blue, and Mario tensed automatically. Robert, the only friend he had had, had apparently had a crush on him, and when they had accidentally met on a vacation about a week ago, he had tried to kiss Mario. Mario hadn't been able to believe it, he hadn't known at all that Robert felt something towards him. He had told Robert that they couldn't stay in touch anymore, and it kind of hurt Mario. Mario didn't want to let go of him completely, but, if he truly couldn't stay as just friends then he had to stay away. But, Robert had said that they should just forget what had happened, that's what Mario wanted, to lose the memory, and he didn't want to lose a friend.

Mario did know however that Marco would be furious if he found out that he had forgiven Robert. Mario might have to talk to Marco about this too, and he was scared to have the talk. Robert had called him several times, but every time Mario had just let his calls go to the answering machine. As badly as he wanted to answer, Marco was far more important to him, and he did need a second opinion before actually speaking to Robert again.

"I'm sorry I should to have mentioned him," Marco said regretfully, petting Mario's hair trying to make up for his mistake.

"It is alright Marco," Mario said and melted in Marco's touch, kissing him again.  
Marco kissed him back with the same intensity, before he pulled away a little bit to whisper in Mario's ear: "should we get some of the boxes upstairs before we go to bed?" He asked, his voice already aroused. Mario sometimes wondered whether could Marco ever have enough sex or always be horny, but it was not as if Mario really minded.

"Mhm, yes, let me get this one box" Mario mumbled as he pulled away a from Marco's arms and took on of the boxes in his hands.

"Let me get that" Marco said, taking the box from Mario. Mario tried to hold on to it, but Marco took it from him anyway. Marco always demanded on carrying everything, not wanting Mario to strain himself, and sometimes it annoyed Mario, he often reminded Marco that he wasn't made of glass, but he knew Marco only did it because he loved Mario so much.

Mario still had a hard time understanding why Marco loved him. It was such a weird thing to think about, but Mario had learned to understand that Marco did love him, mostly because Marco showed him his love all the time, sometimes surprising him with a kiss, sometimes surprising him with flowers or something else.

Mario knew that Marco loved him, but not many other people did. Only both of their families, Mats and Auba knew about their relationship, and sometimes it was hard to deal with. Marco seemed to be reluctant to talk about their relationship to anyone else, and Mario wanted to talk with Marco about whether should they ever come out or not. Mario knew that it could go horribly wrong, but he also knew that it would be worse if someone found out by accident.

Marco was still carrying the box upstairs, and when he finally got there, he carefully put it on the ground: "what's in it?" He asked and turned to look at Mario who gulped.

"Just uhm, the stuff from my bedroom" Mario said and opened the box. Inside the box there was another smaller box with the letters Mario had written during his darkest times, the suicide notes, which Mario luckily didn't even think about writing anymore. "The notes, and some pictures" Mario said.

"You brought them with you?" Marco asked surprised.

"Yes, I know I should probably get rid of them. Yet, they remind me of the bad times, meaning it helps me to know that I won't have to write any of these things anymore" Mario explained to Marco hoping that he would understand.

"If that helps you, it's good" Marco simply said and he smiled at Marco, reassuringly.  
Mario smiled back at Marco, and then took the box out of the bigger box and just put it in a drawer next to their bed. He didn't want to think about the letters right now. Instead, he took some framed pictures out of the box. There was a framed picture of Mario's family when he was younger, and also a picture Mario with his brother.

"There still isn't a decent picture of us together" Mario mused as he considered them, and Marco took his hand, pulling him on the bed.

"True, maybe we should take one" Marco said and then again kissed Mario, starting to rub his half hard manhood against Mario's thigh.

"God Marco, you're insatiable!" Mario snickered but let Marco rub himself against him nonetheless. They had had sex already this morning, but Marco seemed to be in the mood again.

"Yes, but so are you." Marco said slipping his hand under the waistband of Mario's sweatpants resting his hand on Mario's hard manhood.

"That's true, too" Mario was able to say before he pushed Marco down on the mattress, Marco wasn't going to get his way before he'd agree to take the picture.

"But really, can we get the picture?" Mario asked a little out of breath.

"Sure, we should just get someone to take it" Marco said trying to continue kissing Mario. "Just before 1pm I have a sponsoring event at 13:30." Marco added.

"Maybe I could ask Fabian?" Mario asked carefully. He could maybe talk with Fabian about his worries at the same time after Marco would leave.

"Sure, that'd be fine" Marco said, and now Mario let him kiss him, and turn around to press him against mattress.


	2. Photos and worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> Thank you all for all the wonderful feedback I got in the first chapter, it made me very happy and I'm sure it will give me motivation if you're kind enough to leave me some feedback so I know people read my story :)   
> And thank you for Blue_Night for doing the beat reading again :)

The doorbell rang, and Mario sprinted to the door, knowing that it was Fabian, coming to take the picture of him and Marco. Mario opened the door, and faced his brother, with a professional looking camera in his hands.

"Hey bro," Fabian greeted Mario and gave him a brief hug.

"Hi Fabian, thanks for doing this," Mario said remembering the phone call he had made last night to ask if Fabian liked to take the picture of them, and luckily he had agreed.

"No problem" Fabian said and at that moment Marco came from around the corner, straightening the hem of his shirt at the same time. He had spend an hour in the bedroom trying to choose which clothes he should wear, and he had ended up wearing nothing more than a pair of blue denim jeans and a white t-shirt. Mario himself wore black jeans and a blue shirt.

"Hey Fabian" Marco said and waved his hand before he again checked himself out in the mirror. Mario was happy to see Marco and Fabian getting along better. At first when they had met, they hadn't really hit it off, and Marco had told Mario how Fabian had threatened to beat him if he hurt Mario. Mario was happy that his brother was defending him, but that was almost crossing the line, Marco would never do anything bad at him, and it was really beginning to piss Mario off that everybody was treating him like fragile glass.

"How's it going brother-in-law?" Fabian asked and Marco smiled at him.

"Better than ever, but I'm in a little hurry. Could we take the picture now because I need to get going to a sponsoring event." Marco explained and now came to Mario and Fabian.

"Of course we can, where should we take it?" Fabian asked and looked at Mario and Marco. Marco looked at Mario, and waited for him to answer.

"Maybe at the balcony, I guess that this place is quite special to us now" Mario said, blushing, and so did Marco.

"Okay I don't necessarily want to know what has happened there but the balcony should be fine, the lighting outside is quite good," Fabian mused, and Marco began leading them to the balcony, holding Mario's hand. When they got to the balcony, Mario was unsure how they should actually take the photograph.

The only thing he wanted to be seen on the photo was him and Marco together, he wanted to use it as a wallpaper on his phone. He wanted the photo to remind him that he had the most fabulous person on this planet as his boyfriend. Marco however seemed to know what to do, because the next thing he did was pulling Mario to the rail with him, Marco's back leaned against the rail, and Mario in front of him, his back pressed against Marco's chest. Marco put his arms around Mario, laying his chin on Mario's shoulder as he whispered into his ear: "do you think that this is good?”

"Yes, I like this, but I want another photo, too," Mario said. The only thing he did was turn his arms a little sideways to not show his scars which were still there, reminding him of the dark times. But, Mario was still very pleased that Marco had come up with this idea and wanted that the photo was going to show that they're close.

Fabian looked at them,a smile curling up his lips as he said: "Okay, now smile." Mario had no trouble smiling in his position, and neither did Marco, and soon both of them heard the sound of the camera's lens moving and taking the photo. Fabian took a few photos, and just as Marco was going to pull away, he kissed Mario's cheek, and Fabian took a picture of that too.

"What was the other photo you wanted?" Marco asked as he still half embraced Mario and Mario just blushed.

"Well, I want you to kiss me in it," Mario admitted sheepishly, and Marco just chucked as he pulled Mario closer and kissed him. Their lips moved in sync as Fabian kept taking photographs and just when the kiss was turning almost too private for anyone else to see, Marco pulled away and Fabian stopped taking the photos. Marco then tenderly placed one kiss on Mario's forehead before he began walking towards the door.

"I am sorry but I really have to go now, have fun you two. I'll be back in a couple of hours," Marco said and then left the balcony, leaving Mario alone with Fabian.  
Mario sighed as he saw Marco leave, and then heard the car driving away. Fabian seemed to notice that something was bothering Mario, because he looked at him a little concerned.

"Is something wrong?" Fabian asked Mario, sounding genuinely worried. He was probably thinking that Mario's depression had hit him again, which was partly true, he had been worrying about too many things lately.

"Not really, or well, yes, could we talk about it?" Mario asked and Fabian nodded rapidly.

"Of course, let's just go inside, it's quite cold here," Fabian said and Mario nodded, leading him to the kitchen and switching on the coffee maker, maybe the hot beverage would calm his nerves. Fabian waited patiently until Mario was ready to speak, but when Mario sat on the chair next to Fabian, Fabian finally spoke up.

"So, what's wrong?" He asked.

"You remember Robert, right?" Mario asked to start with that.

"Yes, he's your friend, isn't he?" Fabian asked and Mario gulped.

"Well, I guess not anymore exactly," Mario said and Fabian looked at him concerned.

"Did something happen?" He asked and Mario just nodded and began explaining:

"When we were in Dubai, we ran into Robert. We spent some time with him, and I could kind of sense that he was friendlier than normal to me, and that he was somehow maybe a little too touchy. Then, when Marco left for the restroom one night, he told me that he had a crush on me, and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away as good as I could but he was stronger than me. Luckily Marco came back in time, took Robert off me, and pushed him against the wall. I was so shocked at that moment, but managed to assure Marco to let Robert go, he shouldn't make a scene like that with his celebrity status. After that Robert found out that Marco is my boyfriend. He tried to tell me that he was very sorry, and that he wouldn't have done it if he had known I had a boyfriend. He didn't want to lose our friendship, but at that moment I was so shocked that I just kind of told him off. Not to mention that Marco was furious and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to see Robert ever again," Mario explained and then looked at Fabian.

"Whoa, that's so..." Fabian only said as he tried to digest all the things Mario had told him.

"Yeah," Mario mumbled taking a sip of the coffee and trying to calm down in order to explain the next part. "You see the thing is, Robert was my only friend. I don't want to lose him. And I felt like he was serious when he apologized and said that we could still be friends." Mario said and looked at Fabian, hoping he would have some advice.  
"Then maybe you should try talking to him, surely you could figure something out," Fabian said and Mario just nodded.

"The problem is Marco. He was so furious, I'm afraid of how he'll react to the news," Mario said.

"Mario, Marco really cares about you. Therefore, he'll understand that this is important to you and will be accepting, I'm sure about that," Fabian said and Mario hoped that he was right.

"I hope so" Mario said.

"How has it been otherwise, have you been feeling better?" Fabian asked now, changing the subject.

"Quite well," Mario lied fluently. He couldn't help but fall into the old habit of lying about how he felt.

"That's nice to hear, have you been cutting?" Fabian asked carefully.

"No I haven't," Mario lied again. The truth was, that a couple of days ago, when he had been packing the stuff in his old home, he had again faced all the memories and hadn't been able to not cut. Marco had been away, and he had cut on his right ankle. Only two times however, and not badly. The scars were barely visible anymore, he had only scratched the skin. Mario knew that he was supposed to tell Marco, but he hadn't found the brevity to do that yet.

"That's even better to hear, I just want you to know that there will always be someone for you, never doubt that," Fabian again told Mario and Mario smiled. Yes, he knew that, but he also wasn't sure would his mind let him believe it. Maybe he should talk to Marco, he trusted Marco more than ever (or anybody else). Although maybe Marco would get mad at him or maybe not. Maybe he shouldn't talk to Marco? Maybe he should.

He would, there were many things he still needed to talk about with him.

 

\---

 

Marco was sipping his coffee in a lounge at the stadium. They had just done a commercial to some Chinese teleoperator, Marco really didn't know to whom and why but it was his job. Marco wasn't really concentrated. So many things were going through his head, so many thoughts about things he was scared about, but he knew were inevitable.

Auba was sitting next to him, talking about something rather enthusiastically, before he noticed that Marco was frowning and not paying attention to him.

"Something wrong? You look frustrated?"Auba said as he stopped talking to whatever he had been talking about.

"Yeah man everything's cool don't worry," Marco tried to shrug him off.

"Don't even try to say nothing's wrong, I know you too well," Auba said before he asked: "is everything alright with Mario, going strong?"

"Yes, actually very well. We're very happy together, I mean our relationship was serious before but it's getting even more serious all the time," Marco said. He was very happy that he and Mario loved each other more every second, but somehow it was almost scaring him. He had never loved anybody else so much in his life, and he knew he loved Mario unconditionally and with all his heart. The thing that frightened Marco, was, that soon he wouldn't be able to hide his love any longer.

"That's good to hear, but what's worrying you then?" Auba asked trying to figure out Marco's thoughts.

"It's just that maybe someone will notice, maybe someone will see that we are more than friends? Normally I wouldn't have a problem, but, I play football, there are so many homophobic people in this world that I'm scared about what will happen if someone finds out," Marco whined and buried his face in his hands, he was so scared.

"Marco, calm down. People won't find out unless you want them to," Auba said and patted Marco's shoulder.

"But I want them to find out! I want to show the world that Mario is mine and that I love him! I want to be me, Marco Reus, the people everybody has known, but who also happens to be gay," Marco said raising his head to look at Auba.

"Well, in that case it's different. Honestly Marco, the world is a lot more understanding these days. But I do understand your worry," Auba said.

"Yes, but still, almost every time we play an away game, someone shouts something like "fag" or gay in a bad way," Marco said, remembering the last time it had happened. He had been kicking a corner kick and adjusting the ball, when someone from the stands had yelled: "go on with the game you fag!".

"That is true, too. But maybe, you could start easily you know. Most of the team still doesn't know. Maybe you should tell them and then see how they'll react before you decide if you want to tell the world," Auba said wisely and Marco liked his idea. Surely the team deserved to know and they had always been like a family to Marco. Maybe telling them would be a good test.

"That's actually a brilliant idea. I still need to talk to Mario about this though," Marco said not knowing that Mario also had something to talk to him about.


	3. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Mario have a serious talk, and something unexpected ends up happening in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)  
> Once again, thank you for all the feedback I have gotten, it makes me very happy so I'd love to hear all of your thoughts again! It would give me a huge motivation to continue writing faster!  
> And also, thank you for Blue_Night for doing the beta reading again, what would I do without your help?

Mario was sitting on the couch in the living room, feeling a little restless. He was determined to speak with Marco, once he got home, that is. Marco was still at the sponsoring event he had had with the rest of the team's players, but he was supposed to be back anytime soon.

When Fabian had left, Mario may or may not have cried a little bit, he didn't want to admit it. The talk with Fabian had been emotionally challenging, and Mario couldn't help but think how he hoped that Fabian would have talked to him like that a five years ago, when he had really needed it. Now, Mario had more people around him, who really seemed to care about him, but sometimes it almost felt like too much.

He was used to bottling up his feelings, and he still found it hard to really speak to someone when he felt bad. That's especially the reason why he hadn't talked to Marco about the cuts in his ankle. He had spoken to Cathy via Skype a few times, when she and Mats had been on holiday like Marco and Mario, and they couldn't have met. Speaking to Cathy really helped Mario to get his thoughts clearer and make him less self harmful, and over-think things less.

Mario still couldn't help it sometimes, like now, but wondering how Marco would react when he told him about wanting to meet Robert. If he even dared to speak up. He knew he would have to, though, otherwise he would never find his peace of mind, and Mario was quite positive that Marco would notice it if he lied to him.

There were more things that cheered Mario up these days though. Like their puppy, Zoey, running around with the toy Mario had bought for her, looking happy, just like a puppy should be. Mario felt less lonely when Marco wasn't around, just because Zoey was always around there, making some noise.

Mario's thoughts were interrupted by the oven beeping, telling him that the lasagna he had cooked for him and Marco was ready. Mario got up the couch and ran to the kitchen, not wanting to hear the annoying beeping noise a second longer. Just when Mario was pulling the deliciously smelling lasagna out of the oven, the front door opened and Marco came inside, just in time for dinner and Mario gulped.

"Hello, sweetheart!" Marco shouted from the core as he shrugged off his coat and joined Mario in the kitchen, Zoey running around his legs all the time.

"Hello Marco, how was the event?" Mario asked casually, not wanting to jump straight to the topic he dreaded to talk about.

"It was tiring, but, it's over now. You can't imagine how nice it is to come home to this, a wonderful boyfriend, who has prepared a deliciously looking dinner," Marco said and closed the distance between them, kissing Mario quickly before he took his seat at the other side of the small table in their kitchen.

"I hope you like it!" Mario said as he took the cutlery in his hands, and tried to eat.  
He kept pushing the food around his plate, while Marco was eating fast, he must have been really hungry. Mario was trying to form a proper sentence in his head about how he should mention Robert to Marco, but he couldn't come up with anything good. Marco in the meantime had babbled to him something about his day and the event, but Mario hadn't been able to pay attention, and, after Marco had emptied his first plate of food, he noticed that Mario hadn't said a word and that the food on Mario's plate was still untouched. Time stood still, there was not a sound in the kitchen because even Zoey had left them alone, probably going out to play at the fenced backyard.

Marco looked at him concerned, as he pushed his plate aside to lean a little closer to Mario, trying to study what was wrong with Mario. Mario looked down at the table, he was pretty certain that Marco must know that he wasn't sad but was just worried about something.

"Is something wrong, Sunny?" Marco asked as he reached over the table to stroke Mario's hand gently.

"Kind of," Mario said and looked Marco in the eyes. Marco looked back at him sincerely, with nothing else but kindness in his eyes, and Mario felt as if all his worries had been for nothing. Marco couldn't be mad at him, could he?

"You know you can tell me anything, Mario," Marco said and again brushed his fingers over Mario's hand, trying to calm Mario a little more.

"It's about Robert," Mario began, and Marco stiffened immediately and his face went blank. He looked back at Mario, his eyes piercing cold and then he growled:

"What about him?" Marco asked trying to sound normal but there was some pretty obvious hatred in his voice.

"After what happened, I have really thought about his words, and I do think that he meant it when he said that we could still be friends. He is my friend, Marco, and I don't want to lose him. He is the only friend I have ever had!" Mario said hesitantly, his heart thumping furiously in his chest as he waited for Marco's answer.

"I think you know how I feel about this. I don't like the thought of him being around you, I never liked it, and will never like, especially after what happened," Marco said but eventually calmed down, looking less scary than a minute ago.

"I know that, Marco. But, I have also known Robert longer than you, and I just thought that maybe I'd call him, just to see what he thinks and if he still thinks that his crush on me doesn't have to change anything, then maybe I could meet him again," Mario said his voice nearly quieter than a whisper.

"I don't know..." Marco said as he squeezed Mario's hand with a force that was almost hurting Mario.

"Marco, please! This is important to me. Robert was the one who didn't make me want to give up, completely, back then, he is the reason why I still had faith in humanity. I can't just forget all that, and despite everything that happened, he is still my friend. He is important to me, but you are more important, so I understand if you don't want me to meet him. But since you told me I should talk to you about everything... I thought I should tell you how I feel about this," Mario said his voice barely audible in the end, and finally, the grip of Marco's hand softened, and he was now again caressing Mario's hand.

"I'm sorry Mario, I am just... Afraid of losing you, I'm jealous. But I understand that Robert is important to you, and no matter how much I might dislike him I thank him for being there for you, for keeping you alive." Marco said, but didn't look at Mario. He must be trying to make his mind.

"So, is that a yes?" Mario couldn't help but ask. He wanted to get over this as soon as he could.

"It is," Marco said but then looked at Mario in the eyes looking very serious. "But I have my conditions," Marco said.

"Which are?" Mario asked hopefully. At least Marco hadn't completely rejected his idea.

"I want to be there when you meet him, and firstly you will call him," Marco said and Mario broke into a bright smile.

"Is that all?" Mario asked as he was ready to jump over the table and thank Marco for taking all this so well, he knew that this wasn't easy for Marco, at all.

"Yes," Marco said and Mario didn't waste time any more, he launched over the table and sat straight onto Marco's lap, kissing him ardently.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you" Mario mumbled between his kisses, he kissed Marco's entire face, leaving it wet and Marco chuckled.

"Easy, Sunny," Marco said as he took Mario's face in his hands and locked their gaze. "This isn't easy for me, but I understand that this is very important for you, and I want to make you happy," Marco said, and Mario kissed him on the lips, not knowing a better way to show Marco how much he loved him.

Marco licked Marco's lower lip, demanding entrance and Marco granted it to him, opening his lips enough for Mario's tongue to slip inside the sweet cavern to explore it more closely. As Mario's tongue massaged the inner walls of Marco's mouth, he was seriously wondering would he ever get enough of kissing Marco, and it surely seemed like he never would.

Marco's mouth tasted so good, Marco's agile tongue was playing with Mario's, as Marco's hands were caressing the hair behind Mario's neck, making Mario purr in pleasure. The caresses belonged to the kiss as much as the kiss itself, and Mario held his hands tightly on Marco's neck, as he pushed his tongue further in his boyfriend's awaiting mouth, sighing contently as he couldn't reach any deeper.  
Marco was soon trying to gasp for air and Mario took advantage of that, starting to whisper love and filth in Marco's ear. He had learned that him dirty talking to Marco turned Marco on almost just as much as sex itself.

"Marco, I love to kiss you, your mouth is so perfect, I can never get enough of it!" Mario whispered and slowly moved his hands lower, down Marco's flanks, until they were resting on Marco's hips. Mario moved one of his hands on Marco's thighs and began caressing them, hearing Marco's aroused whines as he got closer to his groin. Mario didn't waist any time anymore, he cupped Marco's manhood through his jeans, feeling how Marco was already hard for him.

"I love to have my hands all over your body, I love to feel you so aroused," Mario said as he moved down, dropping on the floor on his knees in front of Marco.

"Oh Mario, you really don't have to," Marco said as he ran his hands through Mario's hair, taking deep breaths to calm down.

"But I want to," Mario said, really meaning it. He wanted to feel Marco on his tongue right now, and at the same moment he opened the zipper of Marco's jeans and freed his cock from all the offending garments. Marco moaned obviously very aroused, looking down at Mario, who winked at him.

Mario looked at Marco's cock hungrily, seeing how the tip was glistening in precum, and all the thick veins were visible making the cock look like it was pulsing. Mario gulped as he wasted no time, he took Marco's cock in his mouth, as deep as he could with one swift movement.

Mario could hear Marco cursing and moaning something Mario couldn't detect, when Mario started to move his head up and down his boyfriend's pulsing manhood. Mario could already take Marco almost completely in his mouth, and what he couldn't fit in his mouth, he covered with his hand, stroking the rest of the impressive manhood.  
Mario kept bobbing his head up and down, still feeling Marco's hands on his hair, pulling it gently. Mario had placed his other hand on Marco's legs, and he could feel them trembling slightly, indicating that Marco was already close to coming. Mario altered between licking and actually sucking, before he was content with sucking Marco, at the same time caressing the sensitive head with his tongue. Marco was groaning very loudly, responding to Mario's movements, wordlessly telling Mario that he was close.

Mario pulled away from Marco's cock only for a while, to say something he knew would make Marco come: "Marco, you'll be good and come for me, will you? I want to feel and taste your seed in my mouth, please give it to me Marco!" Mario said as Marco groaned and pushed Mario's head back down to his cock.

Mario hummed around Marco's cock, pleased with his efforts, and that was all it took for Marco to come hard, his entire body stiffening as his loud moan filled the room, and he came, shooting his seed down Mario's willing throat. Mario caught all of Mario's ecstasy, swallowing it down happily, and kissing the now over sensitive head of Marco's cock one more time before he let it go, and leaned on Marco's knees, looking up at his boyfriend.

"That was amazing," Marco breathed as he was still trying to catch his breath.

"It was supposed to be," Mario said, as he got back on his legs and sat down on his chair.

"Don't you want me to give it back to you?" Marco asked disbelievingly, and Mario just smiled at him.

"No, not right now that is. You just ate, and I have to eat, too, and we'll have plenty of time in the evening." Mario said happily and started to eat his food. He could say that this evening had been a success already.

"What have I done to deserve you?" Marco questioned as he looked at Mario, his eyes full of loving.

 

\---

 

Later that evening, they were lazily laying on the couch, watching Pirates Of The Caribbean. Mario sat upwards, but he began to feel a little tired, so he slid down on the couch, until he head was rested against the armrest and he lifted his legs on the couch.

Marco saw Mario's efforts, and then, he took Mario's legs on his lap. Mario noticed happily how Marco began caressing his legs, massaging them gently. He didn't remember that on his legs, he had something to hide, something he didn't want Marco to see, especially without him telling him about it first.

Mario then realized that something was wrong when Marco stiffened and stopped massaging him, gulping audibly.

"Mario what are these?" Marco said and Mario looked at him. Marco was pointing at the few fading scars on Mario's ankle. Mario mentally cursed himself, he should have known better than to wear shorts, but the truth of what had happened was already visible, and he would have to explain it to Marco now, because Marco's hurt and strict gaze left no doubt about that Mario didn't have any other choice on this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback?


	4. Trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)   
> Here is another chapter of this sequel and it is a little short, but I personally prefer shorter updates more often than long updates less often, so here is this chapter :)   
> Thank you once again for all the feedback, and I always love hearing your thoughts so please share them with me, every comment means a lot and makes me so happy and more motivated :)   
> Also thank you Blue_Night for once again doing the beta reading, I can never thank you enough!

"What are these?" Marco repeated the question to Mario, as Mario stiffened his legs on his lap. Marco's eyes were still focused on the two fading scars on Mario's right ankle. The scars were fading, Mario had clearly done them a while ago, maybe a few days ago, and he hadn't told Marco about what he had done.

Marco felt mostly hurt, and scared. He had asked Mario to tell him when he felt like he wanted to cut. He had asked, hoped and begged him to come to him when he felt bad but he hadn't. It hurt Marco, that was a fact. But he was also scared, and sad that Mario still had to do this to himself. He was scared because he hadn't seen anything, he hadn't noticed that Mario felt bad, he hadn't noticed his sadness, he hadn't noticed that Mario needed someone to take care of him.

Maybe Mario wanted to keep it to himself again. He didn't want to show Marco that he still wasn't alright. Maybe Mario wanted to show Marco that he was brave, that he was happy, maybe he was thinking that he would make Marco happy by being happy.

Marco didn't know what to think anymore, he just needed answers. He had kept looking at Mario's scars, but now he turned to look at Mario, who had his face buried in his hands and he was obviously taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. Marco almost felt bad, he didn't want to scare Mario, or push him to anything, but he really needed to know now.

"Sunny?" Marco tried with a softer tone in his voice. The last thing he wanted was to make Mario uncomfortable.

"I can explain this," Mario began quietly, his face still buried in his hands. Marco stayed still, only his hands moved as he drew comforting patterns on Mario's legs, not avoiding the scars, gently brushing his fingers over them, feeling how the skin under his fingers was scratched.

"I'm listening, Mario, whenever you're ready," Marco said and kept staring at Mario for a time that seemed like minutes before Mario finally put his hands back onto his lap and looked at Marco.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Mario began, and Marco flinched inwardly as he saw Mario's scared expression. Was Mario scared of him? Marco had never wanted to be strict, or pushing in any way.

"You don't have to be sorry, Mario," Marco said thinking about his next words carefully. "You know you can talk to me about anything. I just... Do you want to talk about it now?" Marco asked, not really knowing how to start this conversation.

"There isn't much to say. I was just reminded by all the bad things that happened to me, and they made me sad. I needed to cut. I just needed to. It has become such a habit, I don't know how can I let go of it. I think I'm addicted," Mario said and Marco's heart broke just as Mario's voice broke.

"You could have told me, Mario. I would have wanted to help you, maybe I could have helped you somehow," Marco said, helpless.

"I know that I should have told you and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I just wanted to make you happy, I didn't want you to be sad because of me, or to worry about me. I wanted you to be happy and I didn't want to ruin your day," Mario said not looking at Marco anymore and Marco was wondering whether he had seriously heard everything right. Mario cared about him being well, when Mario was the one who really needed help? Marco's throat tightened, Mario always seemed to manage to surprise him.

"You wouldn't have ruined my day, Mario. You can always tell me whenever you're feeling bad or sad, whenever the memories are coming back, whenever you feel scared. I would have been here for you. You shouldn't worry about making me unhappy, because, of course it makes me feel sad to know you're feeling bad, but it hurts me more if you won't tell me," Marco said, looking straight into Mario's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Marco," Mario said again and looked into Marco's eyes, and Marco could see that tears had come in his eyes.

"Mario, you don't have to apologize! I know that I really can't understand how you are feeling, but I also will never be able to understand you if you won't tell me. This is a long process, and don't you ever think again that I could be mad at you because of something like this, because I won't be," Marco said, trying to sound understanding and caring.

"I know Marco, I know that and now when I look back to it, I should have told you. And it's not like I'm not trying. I'm just starting to get a little desperate, what if I won't ever be able to stay happy for a long time, or what if I can never get rid of my memories?" Mario said and moved so that Marco was able to put one arm around his shoulder.

"I know that you're trying Mario. But this is only the beginning, and you feel happy when you're with me, right? At least happier than you were?" Marco asked, drawing soothing patters on Mario's shoulder with his fingers.

"Yes, I feel a lot better, now, when I'm with you," Mario said and managed to smile a little bit.

"But you miss some of the things you did when you were alone, right? I mean, your life has changed so much lately, I can understand that so many things are new to you, and that you miss some of the old things as well," Marco said not sure if he made any sense at all.

"You're right. Maybe I should do some of the stuff I used to do when I was alone. Like going out jogging in the morning," Mario said and Marco was quick to encourage him.

"You should try doing that! And it wouldn't hurt if you took Zoey with you, I think she's getting a little fat," Marco laughed and Mario joined his carefree laughter, both of them looking at their dog sleeping in front of the fireplace.

"That's because you always feed her with all the treats!" Mario accused him and Marco tousled his hair. They laughed for a little while, just enjoying themselves, before Mario got a little more serious again. "Thank you for being here Marco, I really couldn't live without you anymore, I love being together with you," Mario said and turned to look at Marco.

"And we will be together, always," Marco said and kissed Mario's temple, finally making Mario smile in a way he should always smile.

"Next time, I will tell you when I'm feeling bad," Mario said and snuggled closer to Marco.

"Thank you," Marco said and relaxed as they both focused on the movie again.  
However, it didn't take a long time before Marco felt Mario's body relaxing even more in his arms, and he began to hear silent snoring. Mario was sleeping in his arms, and with great and gentle effort, Marco raised Mario, careful not to wake him up, and carried him to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback = <3


	5. Back to work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my readers :) 
> 
> I'm sorry that this chapter took so long, but I didn't get so much feedback on this story so I decided to update my other stories first, but I do have a plot ready for this, too, so there will probably be updates as long as people are interested.   
> Anyways, thank you for all the feedback so far, and I do hope you enjoy this chapter too, and please tell me what you think about it and leave some feedback, it's super important for every author! :-)

Finally, Mario was back at the training center, back with the team, ready to start working again. Mario had high hopes, he wouldn't have to be so insecure now, he knew what he was doing, he knew the people around him, and most importantly, he knew he would have Marco to turn to.

He also had high hopes for this half of the season. Dortmund was still competing in all competitions, they could win a lot this season, and with the team they had, they knew they could achieve their goals. Mario was thrilled to be a part of all of this, even though he really wasn't a player, he was a part of the team, no matter what.

"Are you nervous?" Marco asked as they were walking through the corridors to the pitch.

"I'm excited," Mario said honestly.

"I'm so happy to hear that, Mario," Marco said, messing Mario's hair, gently, and just then, Erik came from behind the corner and looked at both of them in obvious confusion.

"Uhm, hey, nice to see you guys again," Erik said a little bit hesitantly as Mario felt himself blushing, awkwardly, and moving a few inches further away from Marco, he hadn't even noticed that they had been basically glued to each other.

"Nice to see you, too!" Marco and Mario said in unison and laughed at each other. Erik just looked at them a little weirdly before he walked off, leaving Mario and Marco still giggling behind him.

"Do you think people will start noticing us?" Marco asked, still smiling, but with a serious undertone in his voice.

"Uhm, I guess they might," Mario said, now turning serious, too. He hadn't yet really talked with Marco about if they should let any other ones know about their relationship.

"We should talk about this sometime," Marco said just before they entered the pitch, and were separated as Mario went to greet the other physiotherapists and Marco went to greet all the players he hadn't seen during their vacations.

Mario thought about Marco's words, musing about whether they should actually tell the other players that they were in a relationship? Would it be good? How would they react? Mario knew that this was a serious topic, or well, not for him since he basically had no one else to lose other than Marco. He knew for sure that he would do anything for Marco, he would agree with being a couple only in private, or he could come out to the world, it was all up to Marco. Mario did see that this topic was bothering Marco, so he would have to talk about it with him, sometime soon.

Mario got through the training and watching the players movements on autopilot, nothing special happened, except that he had seen how Mats had been limping a little bit, and something was clearly bothering his ankle. Mario went to ask if something was wrong, and Mats admitted that he felt a little discomfort and therefore he was trying not to strain his leg too much.

Mario could tell that it was probably nothing serious, but decided that it would be better not to risk anything, so he told Mats to go to the massaging room while he went to tell the coach that he would give Mats some treatment. When Mario got back the massaging room, Mats was already lying comfortably on the table.

Mario began to examine Mats ankle, and he noticed that the Achilles' tendon was a little bit too tense. Mario had just told Mats to rest it for today, when he finally dared to ask him the question he had been wanting to ask: 

"Could I talk to Cathy again, today? I mean it's alright if she can't, you guys must be busy and I'm sure she has a lot of other things to do..." Mario babbled but Mats shushed him.

"No, I think she will have time tonight," Mats said and smiled at Mario, kindly. "Do you want to come right now, after training? I could go somewhere with Marco while you stay with Cathy, it has been a while since I've spend time with Marco, he's always with you these day," Mats said thoughtfully and Mario just nodded.

"I guess we could," Mario said, remembering how he had let Marco drive him to training after he had insisted on doing so.

Mario and Mats went to the locker room, where Marco was already trying gathering his things when he saw Mario and Mats at the door.

"Oh you're here, I was just going to come to look for you guys!" Marco said as he picked up his back signaling that he was ready to go.

Mats, Mario and Marco began walking to the garage, Marco casually putting his arm around walking between Mats and Mario. This was one of the things Mario was going to talk to Cathy today. Marco was so protective all the time, it was almost like he was shielding Mario. Mario knew he could never act like a 'normal' person if this continued. He needed to learn how to cope with doing things by himself. Of course, Mario was happy about Marco protecting him and being there for him, but Marco should maybe not be so overprotective.

"Actually, Marco, me and Mario talked that Mario would talk to Cathy now, we could spend some time together in the meantime," Mats said and Marco was startled for a minute.

"Oh okay, then we'll can drive behind you to your place or...?" Marco asked.

"Yes, just follow me," Mats said and went to his own vehicle while Marco and Mario went to theirs.

During the ride they didn't talk much, Mario was glad that Marco had noticed that he was still a little nervous to talk to Cathy, so Marco had just held his hand, while driving behind Mats. They got to the enormous house Mats had, not far from Marco's and went to the front door, which Mats opened with his key.

"Cathy?" He yelled form the door as he let Marco and Mario inside too.

"Yes?" Cathy responded as she came down the stairs and smiled warmly when she saw Mario and Marco also being there. "Oh Mario, and Marco, you're here too!"

"Yes, uhm, I was wondering if you had time to talk with me," Mario said looking down at his legs.

"Of course, let's go to the living room, I just made some tea, do you want some?" Cathy asked.

"Yes, sure," Mario said.

"I'll be in the TV room with Marco," Mats said and then began dragging Marco with him.

"It'll go great," Marco whispered in Mario's ear, just before he was pulled away by Mats. Mario sighed deeply as he headed to the living room, where Cathy was already waiting for him.

 

\---

 

It had been roughly about an hour since Marco and Mats had left Cathy and Mario to the living room while they had gone to the TV room. They weren't really paying attention to the movie which was playing on the TV, they had talked about various things, but mostly about the upcoming second half of the season.

Marco was now getting worried however, Mario had been talking to Cathy for about an hour, and Marco was beginning to wonder if something was wrong. Mats had tried to make him relax and forget about worrying so much, but it didn't help. When the door finally opened, Marco already sprung up the couch, but to his disappointment, he only saw Cathy there, which only increased his worry.

"Where's Mario?" Marco asked.

"He's still in the living room, I need to talk to you Marco," Cathy said and put his arm on Marco shoulder, pushing him back on the couch. Cathy looked at Mats only briefly, but Mats understood that he was supposed to leave Cathy and Marco alone, so he left them.

"What is it?" Marco asked still alert.

"Calm down Marco, everything is alright. I just need to talk to you about some things which could help Mario get better," Cathy said and Marco relaxed a little bit.

"I'm all ears," Marco said.

"I talked about a lot of things with Mario today. He told me that he hadn't told you about the cutting, and that you had been understanding which was good. Mario is still in the beginning of his recovery, and he is trying really hard. I gave him some tips on trying to stop cutting, and he has made some progress, he doesn't cut anywhere near as much as he did back when he was having the worst time of his life. You have done very well with helping Mario, but there are still things that could be done and could be not done. Mario told me that you're very protecting about him, which is good in a way. But, if you want Mario to get better, he needs to know how to trust himself more. And in this case, he should start doing things by himself, he should start experimenting and learning to know that he is capable of doing most of the things you do, like for example, taking Zoey to the vet, going out for a jog, just ordinary things. He should start feeling less 'weak' as time goes by, and you can help him with letting him do things like that, and encouraging him to do those things. Of course some things can go wrong, but then you'll be there for him, telling him that it is alright." Cathy explained and Marco was trying to digest her words.

He should let Mario do some things by himself, let him feel like he was as good as everybody else, and that he was supposed to explain and show to Mario he could do all the things everybody did. Marco could do that, it was going to be hard for him to let Mario do things by himself, but it was important for Mario and his recovery, so Marco was willing to do that.

"I think I can do that," Marco said and smiled at Cathy, he was so glad that Mario had Cathy to talk to.

"Mario trusts you very much, I'm sure he'll get better sooner or later," Cathy said, and made Marco wonder if Mario trusted him enough to do a thing with him that he had thought about doing. It would surely show Mario how much Marco trusted him, and would let Mario know that he could do something Marco did.

"Thank you, Cathy, I think I have a few ideas and I will talk to Mario," Marco said.

"How did it otherwise go, I mean the talking. Is he still... sad?"

"He's better now, but it still isn't as it should be. But, I can see that he's trying and I'm convinced he can get through this. I think the worst things pushing him down are the memories that are still haunting him, and he's afraid that they might happen again," Cathy said and Marco nodded. He had been thinking about the same thing.

"Can I go to see him now?" Marco asked but already got up again.

"Yes, but I think you shouldn't talk about this with him today, the talk we had was again emotionally quite challenging," Cathy said, and Marco just nodded before he walked to the living room. When he got there, he saw Mario sitting on the couch, looking quite worn out.

Mario looked up when he heard Marco entering the room. Mario looked indeed very tired, his eyes were red and swollen, he must have cried quiet a lot, again. Marco's heart ached, he hated to see Mario like this, broken down. Marco made his way to the couch, and Mario got up, to face Marco.

"Can we go home?" Mario asked quietly enough so that Cathy and Mats didn't hear it.

"Yes, Mario, let's go home," Marco said, but before he let Mario walk to the door, he hugged him tightly, kissed his temple, and whispered: "you did so well."

Mario sniffed a little bit, but gathered himself enough to say good bye to Mats and Cathy, before he and Marco walked out of the door. Marco could sense that he couldn't make his plan work tonight, Mario wasn't going to be up to it tonight, but he would make it work as soon as the right time would be there.


	6. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter for you, :-)   
> Thank you for all the feedback I have gotten on the chapters, I'm very happy about it.  
> Also a special thank you for Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for this chapter as well, thank you dear!  
> Enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think to make me more motivated to continue writing :-)

Mario had been really tired when they had finally gotten home. He hadn't talked much, and Marco had respected it, the day had been emotionally quite challenging for him. Marco had heated some of the food that had been left over from last night, and then they had just fallen asleep, Mario nearly immediately, but Marco had been thinking.

The next morning they had almost over slept, and had had to hurry to make it to training in time. Mario was in a better mood, probably speaking to Cathy must have helped him quite a bit. After training, they had come home again, and Mario had made dinner. Marco had helped him, but again Mario was a little quiet, and Marco could sense that he was going to talk to him about something. Marco gave him time, Mario would speak to him when he'd be ready for it.

They ate dinner mostly in silence, and Marco could see that Mario was deep in his thoughts about something. Marco wanted to ask him, but he remembered Cathy's words that Mario trusted him, and that Mario would speak to him when he'd be ready.

"Marco?" Mario said, interrupting Marco's thoughts and Marco put the magazine he had been reading back on the table.

"Yeah?" Marco asked.

"I was thinking about going jogging tonight, I'll take Zoey with me. I guess since Cathy said it and you said it, too, that I should do some of the stuff I used to do, I was thinking that it would be nice to start with jogging," Mario said a little carefully.

"Sure, that sounds nice. I could call Yvonne while you're there. It would be nice to see Nico again soon, wouldn't it?" Marco asked.

"Yeah, sure," Mario said, smiling, and Marco smiled back at him, he hoped that tonight would go well for Mario and would be another step forward.

 

\---

 

Mario got out of the door, and took a deep breath of the fresh evening air. It was getting cold, but he didn't care right now, he just pulled the sleeves of his hoodie lower, and began walking.

Mario had missed this, he had missed his jogging and running, he had missed the feeling of the wind blowing against his face. Running gave him a some sort of a comfortable feeling, like he could actually run away from some of his feelings. He ran through the streets, ran through Marco's neighbourhood, just feeling happiness for a while.

Earlier in his life when he had had nothing to do, he had only had his thoughts bothering him. He had needed distraction, so he had gone out. It had started with walking aimlessly but soon, the steps had grown longer and then he had run. Sometimes the running made him feel better, but sometimes worse.

Sometimes when it was sunny and the streets were empty, it was nice, feeling like the world had stopped around Mario. It made Mario feel less lonely somehow. But sometimes, when the streets were full of people, people holding hands and sharing kisses, walking and running together just made Mario feel worse. It made him feel even lonelier.

But right now, this wasn't the case anymore. Mario didn't feel lonely now. He knew he had a boyfriend, a home were he wouldn't have to go to be alone again, he would have a home with a person who loved him. Of course, believing it was still hard for Mario, but Mario tried. Cathy had told him to never lose faith, and that was exactly what Mario was going to do. He was going to try as hard as he could, for Marco, and, for himself.

He knew he deserved better, he knew that he could get over all the bad things that had happened, it would just take time. He would get better, it was a long process, but at least now he had the motivation to get better, for Marco and for him. Mario looked at Zoey, who was running next to Mario and was looking at him, and he smiled happily. Yes, he would also try to get better for Zoey, and everybody else, his family, Marco's family, and Marco's teammates.

Mario had unconsciously ended up in a park, a few kilometres away from Marco's home. He slowed down to walking, he was running out of breath, he hadn't run in such a long time that he wasn't in such a good shape anymore. Mario could sense that Zoey had a hard time to keep up, as well, so he walked to the middle of the nearly empty park, and sat on one of the benches and just relaxed. Only a few people walked by, and it was very quiet. That's why Mario nearly jumped in the air when he heard a voice behind him.

"Mario?" Someone asked, and when Mario turned around to see who was calling him, he froze.

No no no no no no this couldn't be happening. What was Robert doing here? He wasn't supposed to meet him like this, he was supposed to sent him a message or call him. He wasn't supposed to meet him without Marco knowing about it.

"Mario?" Robert asked again, as he sat on the bench next to Mario, Mario instinctively moved as far away from him as he could, he wasn't ready for this now.

"Yes?" Mario said weakly, he had no idea how to deal with this situation now.

"I tried to call you, I sent you so many messages, why haven't you answered me?! I've been worried sick, I wanted to explain myself but you didn't let me!" Robert said and Mario frowned, was he accusing Mario now?!

"I didn't really have a reason to speak to you after what happened," Mario said more firmly now.

"I understand that, and I wanted to explain! I'm sorry about that, it was very stupid from me, but like hell, how could have I known that you're together with Reus!" Robert said.

"Don't speak so loud!" Mario hissed.

"Oh, right, sorry," Robert said, sounding genuinely sorry and moved a little closer to Mario, and Mario moved even further back.

"Don't," Mario said. He was already feeling attacked enough and after what Robert had done, he didn't want him to come close. Mario wanted to get things right with Robert, but he wouldn't feel comfortable until he would be sure that Robert's intentions weren't bad.

"Sorry Mario. I really am sorry about all what happened. I really thought you would be single, and I thought I'd have a shot on you. You're a wonderful man Mario, we had been friends before and I thought you wouldn't mind me taking one step further," Robert tried to explain himself. Mario looked Robert in his eyes and tried to figure out was Robert telling him the true. It really seemed like Robert was serious about this, and that he was really trying to tell Mario that he was sorry.

"Why didn't you tell me, instead of showing me?" Mario said, shivering as he remember how Robert had tried to kiss him.

"Look, as I said, I acted stupidly, really stupidly. I should have asked you first and I should have seen that you and Marco are... well, obviously more than friends," Robert said, blushing a little bit.

"Good that you didn't actually, we don't want anyone to know yet," Mario said.

"But the point is, if I had known about you two, I would never have done what I did. I don't want to lose this friendship because of this," Robert continued.

"But you like me in a way more than friends?" Mario asked.

"I would like to have you in a way more than friends if you weren't taken. And if you weren't with Marco, I would still hit on you. But I can live with this, there will be more guys or girls to come for me," Robert said and Mario just looked at him with a blank expression.

"So you would be alright with being just friends?" Mario asked, just to be sure.  
"Yes! I don't want to lose our friendship because of this. I know it might be hard for you to trust me after this, but I can assure you that my intentions aren't trying to kiss you again, I won't make that mistake again," Robert said.

"Alright, I believe you. I actually wanted to get this clear because I don't want to lose our friendship either, and if you say that you can be just friends with me, I believe you," Mario said, and managed to smile at Robert.

"Yes, just friends. I wish we could go on just like we did before," Robert said and offered Mario his hand. "A fresh start?" Robert asked.

"A fresh start," Mario said, and shook Robert's hand. "But there is a problem called Marco. He didn't take what happened back then so well. And I will have to explain me meeting you here and then see what happens."

"An overprotective boyfriend I see," Robert laughed but Mario was still serious.

"There's a reason for it, I will explain it to you one day, maybe," Mario said and nodded to himself. Firstly he would definitely try to explain this to Marco, and then maybe tell Robert about his condition.

"Alright, well anyways I'm glad that we got this cleared," Robert said and smiled at Mario who smiled back at him.

"Me too," Mario said, and at the same time, Zoey nearly jumped on his lap. "Ugh, I guess someone wants to go home. It's late, I better get going anyway, but it was nice to see you. I will call you, or text you or something," Mario said as he got up.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it," Robert said and got up as well.

"Good bye then," Mario said as he began walking, trying to escape another possibly awkward situation.

"Good bye!" Robert shouted after him, and then Mario began running.


	7. A lot to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short, but this had to end here and the next chapter will be a little longer :-)   
> Thank you for all of you who have bothered to leave feedback, it makes me very happy and more motivated so please if tell me what you think about this chapter too!   
> Also, a huge thanks to Blue_Night for once again doing the beta-reading for me and helping me out!

Mario got back home with his heart beating fast. He had run all the way back home, Zoey barely keeping up with him. He opened the door and let Zoey out of her leash, while he locked the door and took a deep breath.

"Mario you're home?" Marco called and then walked to the room from behind the corner. Marco firstly smiled at Mario, and then looked at the panting dog laying on the ground. "You totally wore her out, didn't you?" Marco laughed as he crouched on the ground and petted their tired dog.

"Yes, I ran quite a lot," Mario said as he took off the soaked sweater and threw it on the ground, next to his shoes. Marco turned back to him, and as he saw how exhausted Mario was, he focused his attention completely on him.

"Can I do anything for you?" Marco asked as he put his arm around Mario's back and guided him to the living room where they both sank down on the couch.

"No," Mario first said. "Or actually yes, I need to talk to you," Mario corrected himself and reminded himself that he should talk about Robert now before he would chicken out and make the situation worse.

"What is it?" Marco asked concerned and looked Mario in his eyes. Mario gazed back at Marco, and after seeing the comforting look Marco had on his face, Mario knew he could do this.

"When I went out there, to jog, I ended up in a park a few kilometers away from here. There, I sat on the bench to rest a little bit. I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name, and then, and when I turned around, I saw that it was Robert," Mario explained, holding his breath as he waited for Marco's answer. Marco tensed as soon as he heard Robert's name, but he remained calm.

"Alright. What happened then?" Marco asked, not showing any signs of anger.

"He sat down next to me, and we talked. He said he was sorry and that we could still be friends because he wouldn't try to hit on me again. He said that if he had known that we're together, he wouldn't have tried anything in the first place," Mario explained, glancing at Marco, who still remained calm.

"So he didn't... try anything?" Marco asked.

"No, he didn't. I think he really understands that I only want to be friends with him. And Marco you have to believe me, I had no intention to meet him there, I was surprised when I saw him there and I really would have told you if I had known-" Mario babbled nervously but Marco shushed him.

"Mario you did nothing wrong. I believe that you didn't meet him there purposely. And I'm glad things went alright with you. So you think you're good with him now?" Marco asked, leaning against the backrest of the couch.

"Yes, well of course things aren't still the same as they used to be, but I think they will be once we just start forgetting about what happened," Mario said and bit his lip.

"So what are you going to do?" Marco asked.

"Are you asking me?" Mario asked back, he hadn't expected this.

"Yes, Mario, I'm asking you. You should make this decision, I trust you, and you surely know what's for the better," Marco said and smiled, completely surprising Mario. 

"Uhm... Well, I think I should call him and text him like we used to, and then maybe go to visit him or ask him to come over," Mario spoke out loud what he had been thinking about during the run home.

"Then you should do that," Marco said and pulled Mario closer, so that he was leaning against his chest.

"You aren't... disappointed?" Mario couldn't help but ask. He knew that he shouldn't be worried about Marco being mad at him, Marco had assured him that he would never be mad at him, but Mario's old habit of insecurity just kicked in.

"Of course not! I'm happy that you got it sorted out. Of course I would've preferred me being there for you, but you got through it yourself too. You did it Mario, and I'm so proud of you!" Marco said and he kissed Mario's temple, just making Mario's heart swell in happiness. He had really done it. If he had known that this would happen, he never would have gone out. But he had done it, he had talked with Robert and then, he told Marco about it, without any bad stress or fear. He was rather proud of himself.

"I'm happy it's sorted now, at least partly," Mario admitted with a smile. Marco probably sensed that he was smiling because then he gently turned Mario's head and kissed him on his lips.

"Not now Marco, I'm still all sweaty!" Mario complained.

"Maybe I could join you in the shower and then we could head to bed a little earlier?" Marco asked cheekily, and Mario laughed happily as he pulled Marco with him to the bathroom.

 

\---

 

Marco was watching Mario, who was silently explaining Schmelle how he should avoid twisting his knee in a certain way. He was so happy that everything had gone well with Mario after all what had happened last night.

It could have gone tragically wrong if Robert had had a different reaction, but Marco was glad that Robert seemed to have learned from his mistake and not to try kiss Mario again or do something else stupid. Plus, that added to the fact that Mario had still sadly been afraid of talking to Marco about what had happened, could have been way too much for Mario to handle; and he could have come home as a broken man. But luckily he hadn't, Mario had made it through, and it only showed that Mario had made progress. It was good, because it was a true example for Mario himself that he was getting forward. He wasn't so afraid anymore, so scared, so broken. He was better, and it warmed Marco's heart to see Mario being happier.

The training went on, Marco being happy in his own thoughts and around his teammates, he was having a good time. He was focused on his work, his body was feeling good, he could hardly wait to play again, the day after tomorrow.

He was happy, but he was also a little nervous. He had thought about Mario's surprise every since he had talked with Cathy, and Marco was positive that the day was here now. He was going to let Mario take him, let Mario make love to him.  
Marco hadn't bottomed oftentimes so far, and he had always preferred to be on top, but somehow, he knew that with Mario, it would be different. He had never loved anyone else as much as he loved Mario, and this alone would make a huge difference. He couldn't wait to give his body to the man he loved.

It would surely make Mario feel more confident, and more sure about himself. Mario would know that he was able to do the things Marco did, and this would be a good example for him, at least, Marco thought so. Mario was probably going to object, but Marco would make it work, he would guide him all the time and be there, telling him what to do even though he would be the bottom.

Marco finished training, and when he got back to the locker room, Mario was already waiting for him, chatting with Mats and looking happy. Marco showered quickly and then he soon was in his car with Mario sitting next to him, going back home.

"Did you have fun today? Marco asked.

"Yes, I've enjoyed myself today," Mario said, smiling happily.

"I hope we'll have fun tonight too," Marco said, barely able to wait for his plans to become reality.

"What do you mean?" Mario asked, suddenly interested.

"I might have a surprise for you," Marco said and smiled cheekily at Mario, who was looking at him with big eyes.


	8. Take me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter after a while :-)   
> This chapter is a little bit longer, and the next chapter will most likely be a little shorter.   
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this and please tell me what you think, feedback means a lot to every writer and would make me a lot more motivated to continue this story. Thanks for all the feedback I've gotten so far!   
> Also, that you so much Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for this chapter, too, and correcting my mistakes, thank you dear, I would be lost without your help :-)

"What is it?" Mario asked for the 187th time, when Marco opened the door to their apartment and Zoey ran to their legs.

"It's a surprise, I told you already I'm not going to tell you!" Marco laughed as he closed the door.

"But I want to know!" Mario said almost a little childishly, but Marco just laughed at him. "Mario, it isn't anything special, don't get too excited!"

"Alright then... When will this something happen?" Mario asked as he settled on the couch. Marco just put his finger on his lips, not giving Mario an answer.

Mario watched Marco disappear upstairs and wondered what on earth was going on. Marco was very secretive and as things stood, he wasn't going to tell Mario anything about that something. Yes, he had said that it was a surprise but, Marco knew very well that surprises made Mario anxious, so the surprise must be a good one.

Mario tried to relax on the couch, concentrating on petting Zoey who had come to lie next to Mario. Soon, Mario heard someone running down the stairs and saw Marco again, who had changed his clothes to something which Mario recognized, and was now heading towards the door.

"I'll have to do something downtown for your surprise. Don't worry about it, it's nothing serious, and I'll be back in less than a half an hour," Marco said as he put on his shoes and Mario ran to the hall.

"Where are you going?" Mario asked, impatiently because Marco didn't tell him anything and it was frustrating.

"I'll go get us some food, just wait here, you'll see then," Marco said.

"At least give me a good bye kiss!" Mario complained, and Marco grinned at him before he closed the distance between them and gave Mario a short but passionate kiss.

"Bye love. And do me a favor for me will you? There are some clothes on our bed, I wish you'd wear them when I'll be home," Marco said and then he closed the door.  
Mario was left standing by the door, in their quiet home. Marco had just basically run out of their house, dressed in the clothes he had worn on their first date and not a single time again ever since. Yes, Marco was definitely planning something special, so Mario decided to obey Marco and went up to their bedroom, to see what kind of clothes Marco had lain on the bed for him.

The clothes were the same clothes Mario had worn on their first date, and Mario couldn't help the smile spreading on his face. God he loved Marco so much. He dressed up quickly, before he again went to the living room to wait for his boyfriend and his surprise. He surfed through every single channel on the TV several times, before he finally heard the doorbell ringing, and he got up a little hesitantly. Why was someone ringing their doorbell? Shouldn't Marco use his key?

Mario walked to the door, and opened it carefully, just peeking who was behind the door. Luckily he saw that it was Marco, and then he pulled the door open completely, seeing that Marco had both of his hands behind his back, it seemed that he was hiding something.

"Hi," Mario mumbled looking at Marco and let him inside. He couldn't help but check Marco out from head to toes, he loved these clothes on his boyfriend.

"Hi Mario," Marco said and saw how Marco's cheeks reddened because he also checked Mario out from head to toes. Marco then pulled one hand from behind his back, showing Mario a bunch or red roses.

"You bought these for me?" Mario asked surprised as he took the flowers. Usually, Marco didn't show him his love this way.

"Yeah, this is a date, and I'm going to make it a good one," Marco said and then the penny dropped. Marco was doing everything exactly the same way as during their very first real date. Mario smiled and chuckled, because he had also said exactly the same things as he had said back then, he remembered their first date like yesterday.

"I see what you did there," Mario said and smiled at Marco. He noticed that Marco had some take out food in his hands also, probably Chinese, just what they had had on their first date.

"And I succeeded, didn't I? Marco asked as he put the food down and pulled Mario in for a hug.

"Yes you did. Though I wish this date will end a little differently than last time. I want you to do a lot more than just kiss me," Mario whispered in Marco's ear and then felt how Marco tensed. Marco swallowed and pulled a little bit away.

"We'll do so much more," Marco said and started to set up the table, Mario helping him.

The food indeed was the same dishes they had eaten back then, and it still brought back some of the wonderful memories Mario would never forget. On that day, he had been happier than he had ever been in his life, and now he was even happier, being able to remember that day and think about where he was now. Marco brought up some of the things they had talked about on their first date, and smiled with Mario to the memories.

When they were done eating, they simply left the cutlery on the table, not bothering to put them away. Instead, when Mario got up, he felt Marco's hand pulling him to the very well known place. Mario let himself be led to the balcony, a place where they had first kissed.

Marco turned back to Mario and smiled at him. Mario looked at Marco's eyes and swore that he could actually see the kindness and loving in them, the sight just melted Mario's heart.

"You're so beautiful Mario," Marco said, a little different from what he had said on their first date, but Mario didn't really care, because at the next moment, he again felt Marco's lips on his, as light as a feather. Their kiss was so gentle, only about love and not raw need - yet.

Mario answered the kiss with the same love, and was about to deepen the kiss before Marco drew back at the same moment, pulling Mario back from the balcony to their bedroom.

"Mario I want you to do something for me tonight," Marco murmured as he began to fiddle with Mario's belt buckle, making Mario's knees shake a little bit.

"Anything," Mario whispered back as he started to kiss Marco's neck, biting on all the places he knew Marco was the most sensitive.

"I want you to make love to me. I want to feel you inside of me," Marco said ardently, looking intensively at him after successfully opening Mario's and his own belts.

"You want what?" Mario gasped surprised, but incredibly aroused at the same time. His dick had already woken up and Marco's words actually made it twitch.

"I want to feel you buried deep inside me. I want to feel your cock inside of me," Marco said and slipped his hand in Mario's pants, cupping Mario's cock through his briefs.

"I- I've never topped before," Mario said. He wasn't sure how was he supposed to take Marco. He had never taken him before, but the thought certainly aroused him.

"I know, but I want to try this. Will you do it for me?" Marco asked in a pleading voice which Mario could never resist.

"Yeah, I will, but I'm not sure will I be any good," Mario confessed with a heavy heart. He really wasn't sure if he could actually do it without screwing something up.

"Good, and you'll be perfect, I know it," Marco whispered and then ripped Mario's shirt off of him. Mario didn't have time to react as Marco undressed him quickly, leaving him only in his briefs in front of Marco. Marco undressed himself too, and Mario couldn't help the quiet groans escaping his mouth every time he saw another inch of Marco's naked skin.

Mario decided to act on his own. As soon as Marco was only in his boxers, Mario pushed him gently on the bed, and started to cover Marco's body with countless kisses. This gorgeous man was going to give himself to him, and he was certainly going to try to make it as perfect as he could. He kissed every inch or Marco's body he could reach, until Marco was rock hard and he was writhing underneath him.

Mario then kissed his way lower, and freed Marco's aching boner from his boxers. Marco moaned loudly as he felt Mario's hot breathing close on his crotch, and Mario did take his dick in his mouth the very next second, savoring the feeling of Marco's hard cock in his mouth. He used all the skill he had gathered, and blew Marco like there would be no tomorrow. Mario only stopped when he felt Marco pulling on his hair trying to make Mario stop. Mario looked back up at Marco, and he saw that Marco was holding a tube of lube and a condom in his hand.

"Please prepare me Mario," Marco said and Mario nodded. Mario admitted that he felt nervous as hell, he had never touched Marco there, and he could only go on with his instincts and try to imitate the things Marco usually did to him. Mario tried to distract Marco and also himself by kissing him at the same time as he poured some of the lube onto his fingers and carefully pushed one of his digits against Marco's tight entrance.

Mario tried to apply pressure against the muscle carefully, as he pushed his finger in, slowly all the way inside his boyfriend, who didn't stop kissing him. Marco didn't seem to feel any pain and didn't object Mario's movements as he pushed the finger in and out of the love is his life, instead, he answered with silent moans of pleasure.

Mario felt confident because of Marco's reactions, and proceeded to massaging the walls of Marco's tight channel, wanting to go on with open up his boyfriend up. Marco was now already kind of loose for his single finger, so Mario pulled it out, and tried to push in with two fingers. Marco hissed a little bit as Mario thrust both fingers all the way inside. Mario felt bad for causing Marco pain, so he kissed him with all the love he had, trying to make Marco focus on the pleasure the kissing caused him.

Marco soon started to groan silently again, so Mario tried to open Marco up more by scissoring his digits. Mario moved his fingers like he had felt Marco move them inside of him, and he seemed to succeed because slowly but certainly Marco loosened up even more, and was now ready to take a third finger.

Mario withdrew his fingers and started to push in three of his fingers, Marco again resisting a little bit but eventually giving in. Marco whined quietly as soon as all the fingers were almost as deep as they could, and he ran his hand through Mario's hair.

"Is everything alright?" Mario asked, his voice rough.

"Yeah Mario you're so good at this," Marco gasped and smiled at Mario. Mario smiled back and started to move his fingers, but now with a certain aim. He tried to reach even deeper to find Marco's prostate, and then when he felt his fingers hit a soft knob deep inside Marco at the same time as Marco nearly screamed, he knew he had found it.

"God, right there Mario!" Marco said and then Mario got even more courage and and started to thrust the fingers in and out of Marco without fearing of hurting Marco anymore.

"Are you ready?" Mario asked after a while as he pulled his fingers out, just to be sure. He craved to bury his cock deep inside of his boyfriend, he was already embarrassingly close to his orgasm.

"Yes," was all Marco panted as he took the condom, and rolled it over Mario's hard length. Mario swallowed hard as tried to prepare himself for the upcoming. He didn't want to come too early, and he wanted to pleasure Marco as best as he could, he only wished that he'd succeed.

"Don't be nervous, just get inside me," Marco chuckled and Mario calmed down a little bit as he lined himself up. He felt his cock pushing slowly against Marco's entrance, and then slowly, very slowly, inch by inch he filled his lover. The feeling was inexplicable, Marco was so tight around him, so good and so perfect. Marco also seemed to enjoy this because he moaned at the very moment Mario entered him.

"Oh God this is so good, I am not going to last!" Marco said as he rolled his hips, signaling Mario that he should move. Mario listened to Marco's words relaxing a little, because sure as hell he wasn't going to last long either.

Mario made a few awkward thrusts before he got the hang of it and started to thrust in and out of Marco with more confidence each time. He focused on the feelings and his movements, and he consciously tired to find Marco's prostate also with his dick. He attempted to push in and out of Marco in different angles, and one time, he knew he had succeeded when he heard Marco suppress a scream to the pillow.

"Yes, oh God Sunny right there!" Marco moaned and Mario hearing his nickname was enough for Mario to make him lose the last pieces of his insecurity. He trusted in and out of his boyfriend with concentrated movements, now only focusing on the feeling gathering in his lower stomach, pushing him towards the edge even faster than normally.

Marco was writhing underneath him, moaning and whining, whispering words of love. Mario kept hitting Marco's sweet spot with his every thrust, and then, suddenly, he felt something wet between their bellies, Marco's cock was shooting its load against their abdomen. The feeling of Marco clenching around him and moaning his ecstasy was too much for Mario to handle, and Mario simply collapsed, his body ruled by the throes of passion his orgasm caused him.

His manhood kept twitching inside Marco as he came, for a time that seemed endless before he finally felt his body relaxing. He had unconsciously crashed on top of Marco, and he quickly tried to push himself up to his arms but Marco stopped him, holding him close, ignoring the mess between their bellies.

"Oh Mario, that was so perfect," Marco whispered in Mario's ear.

"You made it perfect," Mario answered sighing contently.

"No, actually you did Mario. You made love to me, you were the only to make me feel that ecstatic," Marco answered and Mario smiled happily. Yes, it had actually been him, making Marco feel so good. He had succeeded, he hadn't failed.

"It was so good," Mario answered. "Can we do that again sometime?" He asked carefully and a little bit embarrassed.

"Of course Mario. But you see, you're just as capable of this as I am. If not better," Marco chuckled and Mario laughed carelessly with him.

"I doubt it, because you are simply-" Mario began to say, but his words were muffled by Marco's hungry lips on his.


	9. Only a dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than normally, but I couldn't update so frequently if the chapters were longer so I thought it would be nice to update more often but with shorter chapters.   
> Thank you so much for the feedback I have gotten on this story, hearing your opinion always makes me very happy and more motivated to continue, so please share your option with me on this chapter too ! :-)   
> Also, a special thank you to Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for me again, your help means so much to me!

The following day went by in a haze. Marco and Mario hadn't done anything, all they had done was staying in the bed, move to the living room to have a movie marathon, and then cuddle some more.

Last night had been so perfect, even though Mario had to admit that he had been very nervous about taking Marco, and he had been wondering if he actually would be able to get through it, but he had, and now he was on top of the world. Marco had been so caring, he had guided him and told him what to do and it had been wonderful for Mario as well. He couldn't wait to do it again one day.

He had just enjoyed the day with Marco, once again forgetting the world around them, for just a little while. Tomorrow, they would have a match again, and after that they were going to visit Yvonne, her husband and Nico. Marco was actually looking forward to it, Nico was such a sweet kid and Mario loved seeing Marco with him.  
Mario was happy tonight, but of course next morning would be different.

 

\---

 

Mario's eyes flew open and he got up to a sitting position probably faster than ever in his life. Cold sweat had broken on his skin, and he was shaking thoroughly. His nightmare had been simply terrible and he could already feel his tears streaming down on his cheeks.

He felt so cold, he had goosebumps all over his skin as his teeth nearly began to shatter. He held his arms around himself tightly, he tried to push himself to think that it hadn't really happened, that it had only been a dream. "Only a dream," Mario said to himself out loud.

In the dream, he had woken up from a dream and realized that he was still in his cold and lonely bed, without any sign of Marco anywhere. He had dreamed about his current life being only a dream. He had woken up in his old apartment, thinking about the feelings he had had and checking his phone, seeing if someone had messaged him. Of course no one had, and then Mario had walked to the kitchen, taking one of the knives in his hand. He had rolled up his sleeve, running his fingers through all the scars he had. Then, he had cut and that's when Mario had woken up. 

Mario wiped some of the tears off his cheeks and then instinctively tucked his sleeves up, and took a look of his arms. His wrists were still badly damaged and the scars were still fading. Some of them, would probably never fade completely, but there was no new scar and Mario breathed in and out, trying to convince himself that it was only a dream.  
Mario kept sniffing, as he simply couldn't calm himself down, he really had just had his worst nightmare and the thought of it actually becoming reality one day kept spinning in his head. Marco moved next to him, Mario's sobbing and sniffing had obviously disturbed his sleeping. Marco looked so peaceful, but Mario was really wondering whether he should wake him up or let him sleep. Marco had always assured him that he should tell him in case Mario would ever feel bad, and well, now Mario definitely felt bad. Mario felt very selfish for even thinking about waking Marco up, but he reminded himself that Marco would probably be more insulted if Mario didn't tell him.

"Marco?" Mario said, his voice hoarse because of his crying. Marco however made no sign of waking up, so Mario carefully nudged at his shoulder. "Marco, I'm feeling bad, please wake up," Mario tried again and this time Marco opened his eyes a little bit. He must have seen in what kind of a state Mario was in, and he immediately got up, faster than Mario had ever seen him getting up.

"Mario, shit, what's wrong, tell me!" Marco said, and put his arms around Mario, warming him up. It all just made Mario sob even louder, he was actually awake, and not in his horrible nightmare.

"I just had a bad nightmare," Mario said between his sobs as Marco held him tight.

"Hush Mario, it was just only a dream, only a dream, it didn't really happen," Marco tried to calm Mario down and somehow succeeded.

"I know, it just really scared me," Mario said and took a few deep breaths.  
"Want to tell me about it?" Marco asked carefully.

"Well, in the dream I woke up from a dream, in my old bed. I dreamed about all this what I have now, being just a dream," Mario tried to explain.

"Oh Mario... That must have been a terrible nightmare. But it was only a dream, I swear to you this is reality and will always be reality. You won't have to be alone again," Marco explained and rubbed Mario's shoulder with his palm.

"I know... it was just hard. I've tired not to think about it for so long and now it just came in my mind completely involuntarily," Mario explained, closing his eyes again.

"I can believe that Mario. Did you also dream about hurting yourself?" Marco asked, kind of out of the blue and Mario opened his eyes again.

"Sort of," Mario said. "And I kind of felt like doing it again when I woke up," he continued in the same breath.

"I'm glad you woke me up," Marco said, and held Mario a little closer. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Yes," Mario said, holding back his tears.

"What is it? Just ask me anything."

"Just stay here," Mario said and pushed himself against Marco.

"Of course I will, always," Marco said and kissed Mario's hair. Mario sighed out of relief, right now, everything was alright, he was in Marco's arms, safe and sound, and not in his cold and lonely bed.

He was alright, but kept glancing at his arms. His wrists looked so empty, with now only the fading scars visible. It was so strange not to have any visible marks of his suffering on his skin. Of course some of his scars would never fade, and they were clearly visible but still, it was strange. He however knew that hurting himself wouldn't really help, even though it might seem like a good option right now.

He would hurt himself, and he would hurt Marco by doing so. And the last thing he wanted right now was to hurt Marco. Marco held him, and listened to him, kissing his hair occasionally as another tear fell down Mario's cheek. Marco knew that right now it was enough just for him to hold Mario, and not push him to talk about it. Right now this was enough for Mario, enough for him to be strong enough not to hurt himself.

Marco just held Mario, until after some time, Mario raised his head and smiled weekly at Marco.  
"Thank you Marco."

"You don't have to thank me," Marco answered him and smiled kindly.  
"Yes, I kind of do," Mario said.

"No you don't," Marco kept saying and Mario just sighed.

"Alright, well, can I 'thank you' by making breakfast then?" Mario asked, wanting to change the topic. At the same moment, Marco's stomach grumbled and both of them laughed in unison.

"Yes, that would be great, we'll then have to go to the stadium," Marco mused. "Are you sure you are alright now, are you alright to go today?"

"Yes, I'm alright now, don't worry. I want to be there, and see the match. Also, I want to see Nico again, weren't we supposed to go there?"

"Yes, as long as you're okay with it," Marco said.

"More than okay," Mario answered, and with these words, they shared a quick kiss and got up.


	10. Playing, talking, and being worried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all who have been reading so far. Sorry that updating this took so long, but it's because of the lack of motivation I've had to write, and I've been busy too.   
> A very special thank you again to Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for me and supporting me with this story :-)   
> Enjoy this chapter and please, leave me some feedback. It means so much to me, and would make me a lot more motivated to continue!

Marco sighed contently as the referee announced that the game had come to an end. It had been a hard fought match, Dortmund only barely winning with a 2-1 score line. Hannover hadn't given up easily, and finally on the 72nd minute Marco had managed to pass a through ball to Auba and the Gabonese hadn't failed to score. Then, in the 86th minute Schmelle had crossed the ball towards the goal, and Mkhitaryan had been there to tap the ball in. In the 90th minute, Hannover had pulled one back and Dortmund had had to do their best to prevent a tie. Dortmund definitely needed every point they could get, and this victory had been important for them.

Marco walked to the sideline, where he saw Mario waiting for him. Mario smiled kindly at Marco, and offered him a bottle of the desperately needed water. Marco and Mario then exchanged a few words about the match, before Marco went back to the pitch to celebrate with the fans. Marco also glanced at the stands and waved at his nephew, who eagerly waved back at him. Marco couldn't wait to spend the evening with his sister, her husband and their son. And Mario, of course.

Marco was a little bit worried if Mario was actually fine enough to go, even though he had seemed perfectly fine for the last couple of hours, but, Marco knew that that might now be the case. Marco knew that Mario would do almost anything for him, and that included Mario pretending to be fine for him, especially because Mario knew how much Marco had waited to spend this evening with Nico.

Marco showered as fast as he could, wanting to get to his relatives as soon as possible. Marco got back to the dress room, and saw that Mario was already waiting for him, fully dressed and ready to go. Mario still seemed happy and smiled at Marco, so Marco let himself relax a little bit and believe that Mario was actually better already. While Marco got dressed up, Auba chatted with him and Mario, cheerfully, inviting them for a dinner sometime soon. Mario agreed happily, and soon, they were on their way to their car and started to drive to Yvonne's place.

Mario still seemed very happy as he looked out of the window while Marco drove. Marco was still wondering if Mario was already over his horrible nightmare, but Mario at least didn't seem to be nervous about meeting Yvonne, Thomas and Nico again, Marco would've noticed it if he was. Marco parked to Yvonne's front yard and got out of the car with Mario, before he rang the doorbell and then gave one last smile to his boyfriend before he faced his sister.

"Hey Marco, and Mario, nice to see you again!" Yvonne said as she let Marco and Mario inside and embraced them briefly. Just then Thomas walked to the hall from behind the corner, carrying Nico on his arms.

"Nice to see you guys again," Thomas said and let Nico run to hug Marco's and Mario's legs.

"Where's the dog?!" Nico asked impatiently as Marco lifted him in the air.

"Ever since he heard that you got Zoey he wanted to see him," Yvonne explained and Marco laughed.

"Zoey is with Mario's brother, you'll meet her soon, don't worry," Marco said and looked at Mario, who was still smiling.

"I'm sure Zoey will want to meet you too," Mario said, looking at Nico.

"Okay," Nico said and smiled somewhat disappointed as the adults kindly laughed at the little child.

After that, they headed towards the dining room, where Yvonne had already prepared dinner. Marco enjoyed himself a lot, but to his worry, he noticed that Mario didn't eat much, at least not as much as he usually did. When Yvonne and Thomas talked about something with each other, Marco had asked Mario was everything alright and Mario had put on a smile and told Marco that everything was fine. Marco however still couldn't help but doubt that indeed everything was fine, but tried to push everything out of his mind for now.

After dinner, Thomas had gone to the living room to watch cartoons with Nico, and Mario had joined them out of Nico's wish. Nico had also asked Marco to come with them but Marco had declined after he had seen that Yvonne looked like she wanted to talk to him, and Marco really wanted to talk to her too.

Marco carefully glanced at his sister who smiled kindly at him. "What's up sis?" Marco asked, leaning against the backrest of his seat.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a moment, just the two of us, it has been a while since we've had a deep heart to heart conversation," Yvonne said.

"You're right," Marco said and smiled at his memories. Every time he had had a bad time as a kid, Yvonne had been there consoling him, telling him that it would be alright, and Marco had done the same for her as he had gotten older.

"You're just always with Mario these days, don't get me wrong, I am so happy that you met him and that you have found the love of your life apparently," Yvonne said, smiling warmly.

"Yeah, he is definitely the love of my life, I can't imagine my life without him anymore," Marco said and sighed, going through his and Mario's relationship in his mind fast forwarded.

"And I can see that. But you often seem to be worried about some things, too," Yvonne said.

"How do you know that?" Marco asked.

"You're my brother Marco, I can easily notice it when something is bothering you."  
"I'm just worried about Mario sometimes," Marco said, wondering if he should tell Yvonne about all the rough times Mario had gone through.

"I've noticed that... I mean I noticed why you might have to be worried about Mario," Yvonne said, biting her lip.

"You mean you've seen his... arms?" Marco asked, his voice very low now.

"Yes, I saw them and I became worried, and I didn't want to push you into talking about this but I'm seriously worried, especially for Mario but also for you, too. I mean you must be helping him, and Mario seems happy around people, but I'm just concerned that he really isn't alright, at all. Just the thought of someone doing that to himself makes me sick of worry." Yvonne said with a heavy heart and looked at Marco carefully. Marco sighed and rubbed his eyes, he had suspected that Yvonne would find out eventually.

"I guess I knew you would notice at one point," Marco said.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"As long as you won't tell anyone," Marco said in a dead-serious voice.

"Of course I won't," Yvonne assured him and Marco started to tell Mario's story fast forwarded, but, leaving out some of the hardest parts. Marco could see from Yvonne's eyes that she understood enough, and that she even became increasingly worried about Mario.

"Oh that's so sad, so horrible, how come nobody never was there for him?!" Yvonne accused aimlessly.

"That's a damn good question..." Marco mused.

"But are you alright?" Yvonne asked and Marco chuckled.

"Me? It's Mario who you should be worried about," Marco shrugged Yvonne off and traced his fingers over table cloth.

"Marco, don't be stupid. Of course I'm worried about Mario, but something like this is hard for the ones who are involved in the suffering one's life, as well."

"Of course I've been worried sick about him," Marco said and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wouldn't have wanted to admit it, but Mario's suffering has affected him, too. He was constantly worried about Mario, constantly scared that something bad would happen and it was taking its toll.

"Yes, and that has an effect on you too. Just tell me if there is anything I can do and I'll do my best to help you. You deserve nothing but happiness," Yvonne said and smiled tenderly.

"Thanks Yvonne, but I think it's getting better now."

"I hope so. And I can see it too, you are so happy together, it's so nice to see you two so in love," Yvonne said, smiling even brighter, making Marco blush. He was quite aware that even though he tried to hold himself and not make too many public displays of affection, he wasn't that good at controlling himself.

"Yes, I'm very happy with him," Marco said and smiled.

"I'm happy you found him, and especially happy that he found someone like you, he surely has the best boyfriend on this planet," Yvonne said and made Marco blush for the second time today.

"I have the best boyfriend," Marco corrected her.

"Still just a boyfriend?" Yvonne asked, obviously burning with curiosity.

"Do you see a ring yet?" Marco said, presenting his hand in front of Yvonne's face. "Yes, just a boyfriend," Marco confirmed hesitantly. He had been thinking about them being 'just' boyfriends, but he hadn't made any decision yet. 

"Alright then," Yvonne chuckled after seeing Marco's hesitation. "Should we join the boys?"

"Yeah, we should," Marco said, got up with Yvonne and then joined his boyfriend, his brother-in-law and his favorite nephew in the living room.

 

\---

 

Later that evening, when both, Marco and Mario, had gotten tired, they had decided to leave again to go home. When they were standing at the porch, Marco noticed how Mario had almost fallen asleep on his feet, so he had grabbed Mario's hand to give him comfort as they were saying goodbye to Nico and Thomas.

When they had finally excused themselves, Marco had helped Mario into the car, and just when he had closed Mario's door, Marco had heard some rustling in the bushes. Yvonne who had still been standing on the porch, had also heard it, and just told Marco that it was probably some sort of an animal. Marco however wasn't so sure, because the next moment, he saw a small light flashing, that looked suspiciously like a camera flash.


	11. Photographed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to all of you who are still reading this story and giving me support! it keeps me going, so please if you like this story leave comments and kudos, they mean the world to me and keep me going :-)  
> Sorry that this chapter is here so late, but I'm on holiday abroad so my internet connection isn't as good as I hoped it would be.   
> Also, once again a very special thank you to Blue_Night for again doing the beta reading for me and helping me out, thank you so much :-)

Marco woke up to his buzzer ringing loudly.

Last night when he had driven home, Mario had already fallen asleep in the car, and Marco had been rather relieved, since Mario had seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Marco himself wasn't so calm however, because he was fairly certain that he had seen a camera flash, and that there had been a reporter behind Yvonne's fence, photographing him and Mario. Marco had kept trying to push the thought away from his mind, but he hasn't been able to, he had been restless the entire rest of the evening.

When they had gotten home, he had carefully helped Mario out of the car, slowly undressing him before he tucked him under the covers and joined him. Marco hadn't been able to catch sleep for a while, and he was deeply grateful that Mario hadn't seem to notice the reporter, Mario didn't need anything else to worry about.

Marco tried to ignore his buzzer, but it just kept ringing and the person ringing it clearly had no intentions to go away. Marco got up, stretching his limbs as he watched Mario, who still was sound asleep. Marco closed their bedroom door, and put on t-shirt and some sweatpants on his way to the door. Beside his door, there was an intercom, and Marco switched on the imagine, to see who was behind their door.

It was Fabian, holding a newspaper, and a leash in his hand, Zoey attached to the other end of it. Marco glanced at the clock, and frowned as he saw that it was nearly ten. Still, Fabian shouldn't have been here this early. Marco let him in nevertheless, maybe he had something important to say, other than bringing Zoey back. Marco opened the door and waited for Fabian on the porch, shivers of coldness going through his body as the early and cold spring wind gushed towards him. Fabian closed the gate behind him, and then let Zoey out of her leash, and she ran straight to Marco. The happy dog greeted Marco by licking all over his face as Marco tried to get a hold of her, but there was no way, their puppy wasn't such a small puppy anymore.

"Good morning Marco," Fabian said and smiled at Marco who kept blocking Zoey's way inside, he didn't want her to go barking behind their bedroom door to wake Mario up.

"Good morning Fabian," Marco said politely and smiled at his boyfriend's brother.  
"Where's Mario?"

"Still sleeping."

"Good, I actually wanted to talk to you," Fabian said, and made Marco to fully focus his concentration on Fabian.

"Why?" Marco said as he finally moved inside, letting Fabian inside too. Fabian took off his shoes and his coat before he went to the kitchen, where Marco followed him to.

"Have you seen this?" Fabian asked, letting the newspaper he had been carrying fall down on the table. Marco took the paper, and looked at the front page, before he felt his entire body froze. On the front page, there was a small, but noticeable picture of him and Mario, holding hands, Mario's body leaning against Marco's side. Marco immediately recognized the situation, this had been when they had walked to their car last night, and Marco had been right with his suspicions that there had been a reporter behind Yvonne's fence.

Marco gulped and tried to cough, his mouth had run dry. This was exactly what he had been afraid of, and what he had hoped would not happen, at least not now. He was aware that this would arouse questions, who was Mario, what was he doing with Marco, and most importantly, why were they holding hands in a little more than a friendly way. Marco knew that he would now have to face some difficulties, he would have to try to explain this to his teammates, his manager, his colleagues and his family. This photo didn't yet reveal anything completely, he could just shrug it off with telling the press that it was none of their business. Holding hands didn't prove anything yet, but Marco would still have some explaining to do.

Marco knew that many of his teammates must already suspect something, and after all, Mats and Auba already knew. He would have to tell them at some point anyway, but maybe now wasn't the best moment. Marco wasn't sure how would Mario take this, and how would it affect him. Mario had told Marco that he had nothing to lose, and that he wouldn't mind if they ever came out publicly, but Marco wasn't so sure about that. If he ever came out, the fuzz around him would be horrible, and Mario would be a part of it, too.

"Marco?" Fabian asked again since Marco hadn't yet said anything.

"Yeah, uhm, I hadn't seen this," Marco said as he glanced at the newspaper again. His face was clearly visible, as was Mario's, and there was no way no one of his teammates would mistake them to anyone else.

"I figured that. I just thought that you'd better see this now, rather than getting to know later," Fabian said.

"It is, thanks for bringing this here," Marco said, turning the newspaper upside down, he didn't need to see the picture anymore. "I guess this complicates things," Marco said, defeated, he wouldn't have liked to deal with this right now.

"You're right, I'm wondering how Mario will take it," Fabian said and sighed. He was obviously again worried about his brother.

"How will I take what?" Marco suddenly heard Mario say. Mario was walking down the stairs, pulling a t-shirt over his head as he yawned.

"Good morning sweetie," Marco said as he got up, giving Mario a quick kiss and then pulled him to the table with him, making him sit on his lap. He was going to be close to Mario when he and Fabian were going to break the news.

"What is going on?" Mario asked again, getting a little bit anxious.

"Looks like you and Marco made it to the news," Fabian said, and Marco glared at him, but Mario had already taken the newspaper from the table and seen the pictures of them holding hands.

"Oh God," Mario gasped as his hands started to shake and he looked at the photo more closely. "Oh God, they got a picture..." Mario said and let the newspaper fall down on the table, looking Marco, absolutely terrified.

"Yes, honey, they did. It's us holding hands, but nothing more," Marco said, trying to calm down his boyfriend.

"But people will notice that we're more than friends!"

"No Mario, they won't know anything. They'll suspect for sure, but, that doesn't mean that they know anything for sure. We're just holding hands, darling."

"I know but... People will ask you a lot of questions, and the reporters will be running around you all the time," Mario said miserably.

"I know that Mario, but I don't care about them. They can keep spreading the rumors, but we don't have to answer them," Marco said.

"Marco is right Mario. This won't tell them anything, some people who are close to you might put one and one together, but it won't be a problem for you guys," Fabian said and was about to get up. "I was just dropping by to bring the newspaper, I'll leave you guys now, you surely have a lot to talk about, I'll visit you later then" Fabian said and then left the table, waving good bye to both Marco and Mario.

"I'm a little scared Marco. How will people react?" Mario said, as soon as Fabian was out of the door.

"They will spread rumors Mario, they will talk and think, but it doesn't have to bother us. Honestly, they can think whatever they want to, they don't know the real me, nor the real you," Marco explained and kissed Mario's cheek, making Mario's shivering stop for a moment.

"But they'll surely ask you so many questions, how are you going to explain this!?" Mario asked, pointing at the photo of them on the table.

"People will ask me questions, but I'll sincerely tell them that it is none of their business. My life is private, and no matter how much they pry, they won't make me speak." Marco said and smiled. "One day, when we're both ready, and the situation has calmed down, I won't hide anymore. I will be proud to have you as my boyfriend, to have you as only mine, and I'll let the world know how happy you make me. Now is just not the best time, we should at least let the team know, and we can take our time. We shouldn't rush this. As long as we have each other, I couldn't care less about what does the rest of the world think," Marco said, making Mario smile.

"You would really do that for me, come out one day?" Mario asked, his eyes shining.

"Of course Mario, of course, you're my everything. I would give up everything for you."

"I would do the same. And honestly, I am scared about people knowing, but as long as I have you by my side, I know I'll make it, we'll make it together," Mario said and leaned on to Marco's chest.

"We can start slowly. I guess the team will start thinking that something is going on between us, after they see this photo. Most of them probably suspect that something is going on already, and to me, they're like a second family, I think it would be only fair to let them know about us," Marco said and looked at Mario, trying to decipher his reaction.

"I think we should let them know, too, and most of them will probably react well, right?" Mario asked, smiling carefully.

"Of course they would, I have never heard them say anything bad about gays, in fact, I know that a few of them have gay friends," Marco said and smiled too, he was actually relieved about the thought of his teammates knowing about them.

"Then we should do it."

"We should, and then after that, maybe we could celebrate it in the evening, with doing something special," Marco said, smoothly changing the subject, and making Mario beam at him.

"What would that be?" Mario asked, cheekily.

"Oh well, champagne, you, me, the bed," Marco said and began kissing Mario's neck, making Mario smile.

"I love you, you know that right?" Mario asked, moaning softly as Marco's skilled tongue caressed his neck.

"I love you too," Marco said, smiling happily as he hugged his boyfriend tightly, not yet knowing what Mario would have to say tomorrow.


	12. Huge step forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario has something important to talk about with Marco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter, sorry that it is taking so long but frankly, I'm lacking motivation to write at the moment. I haven't gotten nearly any feedback on this story, and hearing what you think about it, would mean a lot to me and let me know that I should continue writing this story.
> 
> For every writer, feedback means a lot, and not getting any feedback makes you question why are you doing this, are you doing something wrong, and is this all really pointless. It isn't a great feeling, seeing the hits and the kudos getting less and less. 
> 
> Thank you once again to Blue_Night for still leaving feedback, and also doing the beta reading, thank you so much. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think about this chapter, it would mean a lot.

Mario sighed as he rolled his body to the edge of the bed and stood up. He stretched his limbs and raised his shoulders, trying to wake up his body.

Yesterday, he had had a plan, but it had blown up when Fabian had shown him and Marco the picture of them together on the cover of a newspaper. The photo had startled Mario, but luckily, he and Marco had talked through the possible consequences of people finding out about them being a couple, and it had gone rather well. Mario had been scared at first, but Marco had calmed him down with his words, reassuring Mario that it would be alright.

Which it would be, in Mario's opinion too. Telling their teammates was only logical, and Mario didn't really have anything to lose, even if they would ever come out to the rest of the world. As long as he had Marco, he would be fine.

Mario was worried about Marco, however. He was going to do something about it, because Marco had helped him so much, and Mario cared about Marco more than about anyone else. Mario also knew why he was worried about Marco, and he knew that they should talk about it. In fact, that was what he had been planning to talk to him about, yesterday.

Mario had been thinking about his situation for a rather long time, and he knew that Marco had been thinking about him a lot, too. He had seen Marco's concerned looks, and his frowns when he could see that Mario had been crying or not feeling well. Mario was stressing Marco, and that wasn't alright. Mario wanted their relationship to be a happy one, and that included both of them being happy. Marco wasn't his usual self if he was constantly worried about Mario, and that shouldn't be the case.  
And Mario wasn't happy either, not yet. He was still depressed, still broken by the pain and sorrow he still felt from time to time, the pain and sorrow he couldn't just get over with.

Marco had of course helped him a lot, more than he ever could have asked for, and Cathy had done her best, as well. He had become a lot happier, nowadays he had more good days when he didn't feel bad anymore, but still, there were the dark days, the nightmares, the ugly thoughts he still had, and of course, the desire to cut himself.

He didn't feel bad most of the time anymore, but the times he did, he really felt bad, and he was reminded of the times when everything was really wrong. He had tried to talk about this with Cathy, and she had helped, and she had told Mario that it would be a very long process until he would be better again. Mario knew that she was right, but he knew that this situation wasn't alright, either.

He didn't want to feel bad anymore, but it was in no way his decision, he couldn't just decide not to feel bad, no matter how much he tried. He could also see how every time he felt bad, Marco's mood dropped too. He dropped everything what he was doing, reading magazines or playing games, just to comfort Mario, and Mario appreciated it, but he didn't want Marco to not to be able to do the things he used to do because of him. Mario knew that Marco wanted to help him, and he let him, and would let him do so in the future, but still he felt like this couldn't continue. This had been going on for months now, him taking to Marco and Cathy, and he had gotten a little better, but he didn't see an end coming yet. Mario wanted to make all of their lives easier, and that meant that he would have to make a hard decision.

Mario needed some advice, somebody to tell him what to do, someone he could talk to who would surely understand him and guide him in the right direction. That's why Mario had decided to start looking for professional help, meaning that he was going to go to a therapy.

That day when he had had the nightmare, he had searched for information online, and he had found a private psychiatrist in Dortmund, quite near downtown. There was an introduction of her on the site, and she seemed to be nice, so Mario had started to think about the option of actually going to therapy even more. He had been quite thoughtful that day, and Marco must have noticed it too. However, finally after thinking about all the good things it might bring him, he had decided to give it a chance.

Of course he still didn't have the courage to actually send an email or anything, but he had made the decision to talk about it with Marco. Marco would surely encourage him and help him with getting an appointment.

Though Mario still couldn't help but be nervous, even though he knew that Marco would react well. This was really a huge step for him. For years he had thought that he was incurable, and that no therapy on earth could help him. He had kept drowning in his misery, but, now it could all come to an end, and it was actually frightening.

Mario got up, and smiled at Marco, who was still sleeping peacefully on the bed, having taken Mario's pillow to hug as Mario had left the bed. Mario made his way to the kitchen, put on the radio to calm himself down and started to prepare breakfast. He would talk to Marco after they've had breakfast because such things could better be discussed with their stomachs filled.

Just when Mario had finished preparing breakfast, Marco came down the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and yawning.  
"Did you sleep well?" Mario asked, and Marco looked at him, his eyes growing large when he noticed the table full of food.

"Oh wow honey, and yes I did," Marco said, coming closer, giving Mario a quick kiss before he sat down at the table, opposite to Mario, just like they almost always did.  
They ate breakfast in silence, and Mario could feel his heart starting to beat faster as the food on the table was starting to run out, and he would have to talk with Marco. In theory, he had nothing to be afraid of, but he couldn't help but be anxious. But this again reminded Mario why he really should go to therapy, for example things like this, him being anxious about things he shouldn't be, were something he wanted to get rid of, and hopefully the therapy would help him.

"Is something bothering you?" Marco asked, after he had finished eating and Mario looked up at him, feeling his cheeks burning. Of course Marco had read him like an open book again.

"Not really bothering, I just wanted to talk about something."

"What is it?"

"I've been thinking about going to a therapy," Mario stuttered, and then took a deep breath, he had just needed to get those words out of his mouth. He looked at Marco, who was looking at him with big eyes, a little shocked, maybe.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes. You have helped me a lot, and so has Cathy, and without you I couldn't even consider going to the therapy. But I just feel like it is the best option, especially since it could make me feel good again, like better in a way that I wouldn't have the bad days anymore," Mario explained quickly.

"I understand Mario, I really do, and I'm very happy that you thought about this. It would help you a lot surely. You should at least try it. I'm proud of you," Marco said, and put his hand on Mario's.

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do. It could help you, and when you're happier, I'll automatically be happier, too," Marco said and smiled.

"I also have another question, or a few, actually."

"Ask me anything."

"Would you help me to call the therapist, or like be there when I do it?" Mario asked.

"Of course I will, anything that will make you feel better."

"Also, I'm aware that in the beginning I would have to go there alone. But, I did some online research, and it said that depressed people who have a companion could go there together, as time goes by. I know that that time isn't yet, but when it will be, you'll come with me, right?" Mario asked, a little insecurely.

"Sure I will. It can only make it better you, we should give it a chance. And I'll keep helping you, as good as I can," Marco said and leaned over the table giving Mario a quick kiss, and making him smile at the same time.

Mario couldn't help but think how fortunate he was, having a boyfriend like Marco, was more than he ever could have asked for.

 

\---

 

In the afternoon, Mario and Marco had sat down on the couch, and Mario had decided that now would be the time to call to the psychiatrists reception. Marco held his hand as he called it and asked for an appointment. Mario was scared at first, but knew that it had to be done and in the end, the woman he had been talking on the phone had been very nice, and Mario had gotten an appointment quite soon, already in a few days.

Marco had kissed him and congratulated him, this was another step in the right direction. Mario had already come through a lot of challenges in his life, and he could now be happy that he now had new goals to fulfill. 

But, as things stood, both of them were already thinking about the challenge they'd face tomorrow, which would be, coming out to their teammates.


	13. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on the latest chapter, it really meant a lot and made me very happy, please keep that up! :-)  
> Once again, as special thank you to Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for me, thank you! :-)  
> I now have a clearer plan about why I'm going to write, so the chapters should keep coming as long as I have time to write, which is sadly getting less and less because of my studies. Nevertheless, I hope to keep updating as frequently as I'm updating now.  
> Enjoy this chapter, and please tell me what you thought about it! :-)

"So, how are we going to tell them?" Mario asked. He and Marco were already in the car, making their way to the training center.

Mario had been nervous all morning, despite getting a lot off his chest last night. This morning, they were supposed to come out to their teammates, and Mario couldn't help but be anxious. He wasn't used to coming out to people, and in fact, he had only needed to come out to his brothers and his parents. In school, he hadn't had friends, so he hadn't even had anyone to tell that that he was gay, so that was it. He hadn't needed to tell anyone, and that added to the fact that he knew that many people didn't seem to accept gay people, made Mario keep his mouth shut for good, until he had met Marco, of course.

Mario wasn't particularly afraid of telling their teammates, but he was afraid for Marco. He had seen how nervous Marco was, no matter how well he hid it. To Marco, there was a lot at stake. Their teammates were his friends, and them accepting him would mean a lot to him. Marco had assured Mario that he wouldn't care about them accepting him, as long as he'd have Mario, but Mario knew that this wasn't really the truth. Of course Marco cared a lot about his friends, and losing them all of a sudden would have its effect on Marco. Mario really hoped that it would be alright.

"I don't know do we need a special plan. Let's just wait until the right moment, and then I can bring it up, if you don't mind?" Marco asked, looking at Mario briefly before he turned his eyes back to the road.

"No, of course not," Mario said. He'd gladly let Marco take the lead and do what he wanted. He saw clear determination in Marco's eyes.

"Aren't you nervous?" Mario asked, curiously.

"Of course I am."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well, I guess it's obvious that I'm afraid about how they will react. I know that most of them are open-minded and so on, but I still can't know how they'll react. I don't want to lose any friends, though it doesn't really matter."

"What do you mean that it doesn't really matter? Of course it matters," Mario said incredulously.

"No it doesn't Mario, because the greatest adventure you can take in your life is to live your dreams, and my dream happens to be me being able to show everyone that I love you, more than anything in this world," Marco said, making Mario's heart miss a beat.

"Marco, that is... I'm speechless, I love you," Mario babbled, as Marco parked the car.

"You don't have to say anything, but I mean it. I want to do this Mario, I don't want to worry about touching you in front of them, I want to show them how happy we are together," Marco said and started to walk to the training center with by Mario his side.

They had just reached the doors, when they faced Nuri. Nuri smiled instantly when he saw them, and walked next to them.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

"Fine thank you," Marco and Mario said in unison, and Nuri chuckled.

"Look at you two, you're almost like a one person these days, so bound together," Nuri said, and then entered the dressing room, Mario and Marco behind his heels.  


"See, Mario, it will probably go well. Most of them already know that we're very close," Marco whispered into Mario's ear, just before they stepped into the locker room. Mario managed to nod at Marco before they were greeted by all the other players. They sat on the bench, and started to change into their training gear.

Marco sat next to him silently, but Mario sensed that something was about to come up. Marco didn't chat as much with Auba as he usually did, and his shoulders seemed to be tense.

"You know you don't have to do it today," Mario whispered, when nobody was looking.

"Today is a good day Mario, trust me. Just wait until Klopp has come in, I believe that he has something to say before training. I want him to be here when I tell them," Marco whispered back, and just like speaking of the devil, Klopp entered the dressing room.

The coach started his monologue, telling them something about their next fixture, and how they were going to start to prepare to it. Mario listened attentively, trying to focus on Klopp, even though he was constantly thinking about a way that could make Marco less nervous. The coach kept on speaking, until finally, he was done, and asked:

"Does anybody have any questions?"

Mario listened to the silence in the locker room, before he heard Marco took a deep breath and stand up.

"I don't really have a question, it's more an announcement, I guess," Marco said, his voice filled with determination, but also a tiny bit of nervousness. Mario's heartbeat sped up at that moment, and everybody else's head in the locker room turned to look at Marco, who walked to the center of the room.

"Oh, uhm, okay sure, go ahead," Jürgen Klopp said, clearly taken back, sitting on the bench next to Mario, who was pretty sure that his heart was going a hundred miles an hour.

"So, this is just something I've been thinking about a long time, and something I want to tell you-" Marco began, before Shinji interrupted him.

"You're not leaving to Bayern, are you?"

"No, no of course not, never in my life, no need to worry about that," Marco chuckled and the atmosphere in the locker room eased up a little bit. Marco then however got serious again, and started to speak.

"You guys are like a family to me, and you all mean a lot to me. You all know me as Marco, the Marco I've been and who I will be, but there is just something that I haven't told you, yet, and I want all of you to know it. I will trust you with this information because I know you personally, you've been here for me when I've had my ups and downs, you've been very supporting and given a lot to me. I want to tell you this before you'll hear it from somewhere else. I know that what I'm about to tell you might change your opinion on me, but I'm willing to risk it for my own happiness -and someone else's happiness, too. This is important to me - and to him. The thing is that, Mario and I, we are together. I'm gay, and so is Mario. I kept this as a secret from all of you because I was afraid of your reaction, but then I met Mario, and he changed my life. He means the world to me, and I don't want to hide anymore. I guess you have seen how close we are, and as I said, I wanted all of you to know this before you find this out from somewhere else," Marco ended his long speech, to look at Mario, who nearly had tears in his eyes.

Mario was so proud of Marco, so proud of his boyfriend who had just stood up for both of them, and spoken possibly the hardest words of his life without a moment of hesitation. Mario finally then acknowledged that the entire locker room had their eyes glued to either him or Marco. The silence was almost suffocating, before Mario heard some clapping loudly, and it made him flinch.

"Bravo, Marco, finally!" Auba said and then sprang up, going to the middle of the room to hug Marco, Mats right behind him. Before Mario knew it, Mats had pulled him up from his seat, and dragged him next to Marco. Auba hugged Mario too, before Mats did the same. The rest of their teammates followed, whispering words or acceptance and pride to their ears, and Mario was slowly but certainly calming down. He glanced at Marco, who was blushing. His eyes were also wet, trying to keep the tears from overflowing.

As soon as their teammates were done with hugging both of them, their trainer stood up, and walked straight to Marco.

"Marco, first of all, I'm very proud of you. You're very brave with telling all this, and I appreciate this a lot. It takes a lot of guts to say something like that, and I'm glad you did, because now you can really start being yourself, and not worry about us reacting stupidly. As you can probably already see, we don't have any problem with you guys being together." Klopp said, and made Marco smile. Marco furiously wiped the corners of his eyes, and Mario could understand why. Kloppo was like a father to Marco, in a way, and his words had been very emotional.

"Thanks, coach," Marco said and then smiled too.

"No need to thank me, I'm the one who's supposed to be congratulating you, especially for finding such a great man like Mario," Klopp said, looking at Mario, who smiled sheepishly at the coach. "I can see how happy you make Marco, and how happy Marco makes you, you are great together, congratulations!" Klopp said again, before he pulled both, Marco and Mario in for a hug.

Marco and Mario hugged him back tightly, before their trainer finally let go. Marco then looked at Mario, still clearly emotional. Marco shook his head disbelievingly, and then leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss on Mario's lips, before pulling him in for a hug.

"I can't believe that I just did that, thank you for being by my side, Mario," Marco whispered and Mario rubbed his back, for a moment forgetting about their teammates around them.

"I'm so happy for you Marco, and so proud," Mario said, and then kissed Marco's cheek gently, before they started pulling away from each other.

"Aww, how adorable, can I take a picture?" Auba joked and the entire locker room laughed.

"Yes, but please keep it to yourself, we don't want other people than you guys finding out, at least not yet," Marco said, now more seriously but still smiling.

"Of course man, of course," Auba said and the other players also agreed on not telling everybody.

Soon after that, their coach ordered everybody to get to training again, and Mario was more than happy to go to the side of the pitch to watch his now very happy and relieved boyfriend train. Marco was like reborn, he wasn't so reserved anymore, and Mario just loved seeing Marco having a good time.

Marco's face lit up even more when Auba announced in the dressing room that he was supposed to have something fun out of Marco coming out, so he was going to throw a party. Mario was happy too, but he was even more happy about the upcoming night, and their own special celebration.


	14. Partying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers, sorry that updating this took so long. I've been terribly busy, sadly, but I hope that it won't stay like this for long.   
> Thank you so much for your support on this story, it means a lot. Also, a very special thank you to the wonderful Blue_Night again for doing the best beta reading for me, thank you :)   
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter and as always tell me what you think, :)

"Are we good to go?" Mario asked at the door, glancing at his watch. They were about to leave to Auba's who had called them almost immediately after training that the party was going to be tonight, as long as they'd be fine with it. Marco had been a little hesitant to accept, but Mario had encouraged him to do so. Marco had waited for their own special celebration as much as Mario had been expecting it, but they'd have time for it later in the evening too. Being tired tomorrow would be worth it.

"Yeah, we are," Marco said, after he came from their bedroom and walked with Mario to the car. Marco was clearly cheerful, most of all because he had finally told the truth, but also because they were going to spend time with their teammates, now not having to hide their closeness.

"I love seeing you so happy," Mario admitted as they sat in the car. Marco's mood was catching him too. Right now, he couldn't worry, he just felt happy.

"I'm happy. And I'm so happy to share this happiness with you, now I won't hide it anymore how much I love you," Marco said and made Mario blush with that. Mario couldn't find words, so he just wordlessly took Marco's hand and let silence fall between them, as Marco drove towards Auba's home.

The drive went by quickly, and Marco and Mario only stopped holding hands for the time it took for them to get to Auba's front door, not taking a risk that there would be another photographer behind the bushes.

"You finally came!" Auba shouted excitedly as Marco and Mario entered Auba's huge house.

Marco and Mario had just come to the party Auba had decided to organize, after Marco's coming out earlier today. Auba had been surprisingly quick with throwing a party, and it was a party indeed, there was already music playing and drinks on the tables, with the entire team already chatting around the house.

Marco had been extremely happy ever since he had gotten the huge weight off his shoulders. Him telling their teammates that he's together with Marco, was a big thing for him, and it meant a lot. Though their teammates reaction was what had probably been even more meaningful. All of them had reacted well, surprisingly well, and had given them their support.

Mario had been hopeful, but never in a million years he could have imagined all going so well. All of them seemed to be more than accepting, and were happy for both of them. It felt amazingly good to be able to hold Marco's hand in front of them, to hug Marco, and to kiss Marco, without boring afraid.

"Of course, sorry that we're a little late," Mario said. "Marco here was so anxious to get here, he was a little clumsy," Mario dared to joke. He wouldn't have, normally, but he had felt surprisingly good today. He felt like a part of the team, and their teammates knowing was another important step in Marco's and his relationship.

"Hey, watch it!" Marco laughed and messed up Mario's hair, making Mario giggle in the process.

"Well what matters is that you're here. Everybody else has already shown up, come in," Auba said as he laughed with them.

Marco let go of Mario's hand only to hug Auba briefly, before he took it again, even firmer than before. Marco seemed to be liberated, his steps were lighter, and his chin was higher. Mario loved seeing Marco like this, so full of confidence, and happiness.

They both walked around for a while greeting people and getting some drinks, before they finally ended up on a couch in the living room, where most of the guys were seated already. Marco sat down, pulling Mario right next to him, and then flung his arm around his shoulder.

Auba seemed to be up to something, since he was gathering everybody else who were in other rooms to the living room, and finally when he had checked that everybody indeed were in the living room, he coughed and raised his voice.

"Can I have your attention please," Auba asked and everybody turned to look at him. Marco corrected his position next to Mario, and looked at Auba curiously.

"Since we're all now here, I want to say something, because I didn't quite have time to say anything in the locker room before Kloppo already ordered us to go training-"

"You aren't going to give some cheesy speech, are you?" Marco groaned halfway amused next to Mario, his cheeks burning red.

"Ha, no, it's not gonna be cheesy, and even if it was going to be I would keep it because you're my best friend," Auba said. Marco closed his mouth and nodded.

"Anyways, I wanted to say a few words for you. Marco you're my best friend and you're important to me so I want you to be able to be yourself around the all of us, and I'm happy that from now on you won't have to hold back. I'm happy that you've found a good guy. Mario is great for you, and honestly, if he had been a Schalke fan we would have had words," Auba said and chuckled. "I guess where I'm trying to go with this that I'm happy for you, Marco, and I'm pretty sure that I'm talking for all of us. You won't have to hide around us anymore. But we do understand that you want to keep this a secret from other people right now, and we won't say anything to anyone, will we?" Auba asked, and the other guys in the room hummed in response, telling wordlessly that they'd keep the secret. "That's it pretty much, so yeah, I'm happy for you two," Auba said, and Mario smiled at him, before he looked at Marco who was emotional again. Marco stood up and hugged Auba, while he whispered something into his ear. The sight in front of Mario was heart warming, Marco and Auba were close and obviously best friends, so Auba's words meant even more to Marco.

"Thanks Auba, and I appreciate this, I really do. I'm aware that from now on we won't have to hide around you, and I am very happy about it. We will keep it down though, no worries, we won't be any more intimate around you than you are with your girlfriends while we're together," Marco said and smiled. "I don't want to hold another speech here, I guess you already know how much you mean to me and how much this means to me, so thanks guys. And of course, thanks to this also goes for Mario, because without him I wouldn't have never been able to admit this to you," Marco added, as he sat down next to Mario, and again gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Marco really caught a good man for himself," Mats said and winked at Mario, who blushed but smiled back at Mats.

"I'm very happy to see you two together, you really look like you belong together," said Erik, and the other guys hummed in agreement, before they continued with their drinks and Auba turned the music louder.

The party then continued, and Mario and Marco didn't bother to leave the couch, both way too comfortable with sharing each other's company and then chatting with the people who came around them.

That was before Mario felt Marco's hand wandering on his thigh. At first, Marco just let his hand rest on Mario's thigh, not doing anything, but after a while when they weren't really talking to anyone in special, and they were just at times joining the conversation that was going on in the living room, he started moving his hand. Marco didn't move it much, only a little bit, but it made Mario's body react, nevertheless. Marco's hand on his thigh felt so good, and it was the only thing he could concentrate on anymore. Marco proceeded to move his hand closer to Mario's crotch without anyone noticing that something was going on, and Mario had to cough, trying to get the beginning of his arousal under control.

"Marco, if you keep doing this we're going to be into trouble soon..." Mario whispered into Marco's ear, but Marco only smiled at him wickedly.

"Maybe I want to get into trouble," Marco just said and kept moving his hand, until Mario pushed it away.

"I'm going to get something to drink," he said and stood up. He walked to the kitchen and took deep breaths, while he took a bottle of water out from the fridge. He was gulping it down before he heard Marco opening the door, and entering the room.

Marco was still smiling cheekily as he approached Mario, and cornered him against the counter, leaving Mario no chance to escape.

"What are you doing?" Mario asked, but probably even before the words caught Marco's ears, Marco's lips were on his.

Marco kissed him passionately as he kept pressing him against the counter, and soon, Mario was a moaning mess. Marco only stopped kissing him once he was running out of breath, and could feel that soon he wouldn't be able to stop.

"This," Marco said breathlessly. “this evening has been great, Mario, but there's something that would be even better, which would be just the two us, much closer than we are right now. What do you say to us leaving the party now, and go home, to finally celebrate everything good that has happened lately?"

"Hell yeah," was all Mario could say, before he felt Marco's lips on his again, giving him the confirmation about what this night had in stake for them.


	15. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fluffier chapter again, but after this one the plot will go on, at least I think so.   
> Thank you so much to everybody who has left feedback, it means a lot to me!   
> Also a special thanks to Blue_Night for once again doing the beta reading, thank you dear!  
> Enjoy this chapter and as always I'd be happy to hear what you think about it! :)

As soon as Marco had closed the door, Mario let himself relax and smiled. Zoey greeted both of them lazily before she walked off again. Mario had been right that Zoey had gained weight and gotten lazier because off all Marco's spoiling.

Marco chuckled at the same time as Mario did, before he turned Mario around and faced him. Marco smiled brightly, looking Mario deep in the eyes.

"I'm so glad today went so well," Marco said, kissing Mario only briefly and left Mario craving for so much more with this chaste kiss.

"Yes, and the party was great as well," Mario mumbled and at the same time Marco pulled Mario into a tight hug.

It was as if Marco's embrace had never felt so good before. Marco hugged him from behind and put his hands around Mario, making Mario feel so secure and cared for. Marco's entire body was pressed against his and Mario could feel every inch of Marco and his perfect body. A body that only Mario was allowed to feel this close.

"God, I wanted to hold you like this for the entire evening," Marco whispered and leaned down to press his face against the crook of Mario's neck. Mario turned around and put his arms around Marco's strong back, as he sighed out of pure happiness.

Marco pulled back just a little bit to raise Mario's chin with his hand. Mario gazed at Marco from under his lashes and he saw Marco gazing down at him with an equally happy look on his face. Marco growled and leaned closer before he kissed Mario.

Marco's lips on Mario's felt heavenly, so good and just damn perfect. The passion between them was radiating into the entire room, Mario could almost see the sparks flying. Mario groaned into the kiss and opened his mouth in order to let Marco's tongue enter his cavern and begin its gentle onslaught.

Marco pulled Mario just an inch closer, and Mario didn't even try to hold himself up anymore. They kept kissing to the point where Mario wasn't sure about his surroundings anymore and his breathing was ragged. His boyfriend's breath was equally ragged and Mario whined unhappy when Marco pulled back again. This time, when Marco glanced at Mario, his pupils were dilated with lust, and there was a new, almost hungry look on his face.

Marco pushed Mario backwards, so that Mario was pressed against the kitchen counter. Mario jumped to sit on it, making Marco smile. Marco leaned closer and started to kiss Mario's neck, making him moan in delight. Mario wrapped his legs around his boyfriend's torso, who started to run his hands down Mario's thighs, just like he had done at the party. Mario was running crazy with need and he was just about to propose that they should go to the bedroom when Marco spoke up:

"Bedroom?" Marco whispered, with a rough and possessive voice that made a shiver run down Mario's spine.

"Yes please," Mario whispered and closed his eyes in pure bliss as he felt the counter underneath him disappear. It wasn't a long way to their bedroom so Marco had lifted him up, to carry Mario there, never stopping kissing him.

Mario kissed him back, his body starting to react to their closeness. It had been a while since they'd been this intimate. They had had their time in bed cuddling and kissing, occasionally making love, but they hadn't really had time to fully dedicate to each other just for one perfect moment. There had been always something in their minds, something bugging them but now there wasn't. They were together again and they were going to be as close as they could be; nothing would disturb or stop them.

Marco carefully laid Mario down on the bed before he joined him, covering Mario with his body. Marco roamed his hands along Mario's flanks as Mario started to open Marco's shirt, wanting to feel his partner much much closer, skin against skin.  
"Let's get rid of these clothes," Marco murmured between his kisses before he raised himself up until he was sitting on Mario's hips. Mario locked his eyes with Marco's as Marco started to undress them as fast as he could.

When they were finally both naked, Marco didn't waste any time anymore as he crashed their bodies together. Both of them moaned out of pleasure as they could feel each other's bodies, oh so close. Marco pinned Mario's arms onto the mattress, and even if Mario would have wanted to object, he couldn't have, because he was too drowned in his boyfriends touch.

Marco started worshipping Mario's body, or that's at least how Mario felt. Marco kissed his way down on Mario's body, placing soft kisses on all the places where Mario was the most sensitive. Every caress was driving Mario crazy, making him let out almost embarrassing sounds of pleasure as Marco was closing in on his groin now.

Mario was incredibly hard and he looked down at Marco who was equally hard as he was. Mario's cock was standing proudly against his stomach, screaming for attention, and Marco seemed to notice it.

Marco smiled knowingly as he reached Mario's groin and he winked at Mario quickly before he took Mario's cock on his hands. Marco gave Mario's manhood a few strokes before he moistured his lips and took it completely in his mouth. Mario nearly screamed, he was embarrassingly close to coming already, and if Marco kept up with giving him such a good blowjob, Mario was sure that this was going to be over very fast.

Marco's mouth felt marvelous around his shaft and Mario couldn't stop letting out soft whines even though he was biting his lips. Marco even taunted to hum while he was sucking, and Mario just had to put his hand into Marco's hair, trying to signal him that he was going to come if this went on for too long.

Marco read his lover perfectly as he always did, because he pushed himself back up, and gave Mario a quick kiss on the lips.

"Tonight is going to be so good," Marco whispered, before he reached for the nightstand. Mario turned on his side as he watched Marco take out the bottle of lube and a condom, when a sudden thought crossed his mind.

"Marco," Mario began biting his lip again.

"Yes, dear?" Marco asked as he turned back to Mario, sensing that Mario had something important to tell to him.

"We can do it without the condom, too, you know. We trust each other, so we don't really need it, do we?" Mario asked, his mind already gone haywire by the thought of Marco taking him without the rubber.

"Oh God yes, you can trust me with this, Sunny," Marco whispered as he moved closer to Mario, and kissed him.

Marco poured some of the lube onto is fingers and reached behind Mario's back. Mario reached down too, starting to stroke his boyfriends length, in his mind preparing himself for the upcoming intrusion.

Soon, Mario felt Marco's fingers behind his back, massaging his entrance, showing Mario that he would take it easy. Marco continued his caressing until Mario was about to ask him to go further, before he eventually proceeded to push one finger inside, making Mario let out a quite 'ah'.

Marco was always careful with opening Mario, never going too far too fast. Mario kept stroking Marco and make him feel ecstatic as Marco slowly worked his way up to three fingers moving inside of Mario. Marco let out soft whines too, unable to hold his desire at bay.

Both of them started shivering and Marco finally pulled his fingers away and pressed Mario down on the mattress, covering his body with his own. Mario smiled, this was it, finally they were going to be as close as two beings could be. Marco smiled too, before his breath hitched as he took a hold of his manhood and lined himself up.

"I'm going to push very deep, babe," Marco said and Mario nodded.

"Please Marco, fill me already," Mario moaned and then it happened, Marco stretched him open and filled him, until he was balls deep buried inside Mario.  
Mario closed his eyes in pure bliss and Marco groaned, nearly collapsing on top of Mario.

"Mhh Mario I love you so much, so damn much," Marco mumbled and kissed Mario, making Mario forget the little pain the stretching had caused him.

"I love you too Marco, so much," Mario said and kissed Marco back with all the love and ardor he felt.

Marco just made him feel so loved and cherished, caressing every part of his skin, and soul, leaving Mario no room to think about anything else. Every moment they spent like this, as close as they could be, was perfect. Marco kissed Mario passionately until Mario started to whine, his arousal growing too strong to ignore anymore.

"I'm going to make love to you now, my sweet Sunny," Marco whispered and then moved, thrusting incredibly deep hitting Mario's prostate dead on.

"God yes, keep that on," Mario moaned and then Marco to hit his sweet spot again. Marco started a slow pace, holding on to Mario tightly as he kept pushing in and out, whispering words of love and adore into Mario's ears as he did so.

"Mario I want to have you like this forever. I want you like this every day, every moment, every second. I want you this close, I love holding you like this, love having you this close, love being like this just the two of us. I'm crazy in love with you, everything about you, every single little thing. All your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections," Marco whispered and Mario almost had tears in his eyes. No one could ever make him feel this good and loved at the same time.

"God Marco I love you, please I love you so much. You're so perfect," Mario said, but was cut off by both, him and Marco moaning as Marco picked up his pace.

Marco was pushing in and out of him rapidly now, hitting Mario's sweet spot every time. On top of that, Marco's abs were brushing against Mario's cock every time, and the friction was just becoming too much.

The tale signs of Mario's orgasm were already there as his whines grew louder and Marco's groans became vociferous.

"Are you going to come for me, Sunny?" Marco asked and that was all it took for Mario to fall apart. He came hard, moaning Marco's name as he fired his seed between their stomachs. Marco let out a high pitched whine as he came too, this time shooting his seed inside Mario, which boosted Mario's pleasure in an incredible way.

Marco still held Mario tightly, before he let go and pulled out, leaving Mario panting on the mattress. The cold air hit Mario as Marco suddenly left Mario's side completely and went out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Mario groaned, he didn't want Marco to go anywhere now.

"Hold on just for a moment, I'll be right back," Marco shouted and Mario wanted to pull the covers on top of him but he couldn't because of the mess of come on his chest.

Marco luckily came back quickly, with a wash cloth and a box of ice cream.

"Ice cream?" Mario asked, incredulously, as Marco approached with the washcloth and cleaned Mario's abs and his chest. He just smiled as he got next to Mario on the bed again, taking the box of ice cream with him. Marco pulled the covers on top of them, and Mario gratefully snuggled closer to Marco again.

"Yes ice cream. I guess I could have brought champagne, but we already had enough to drink tonight, and who doesn't like ice cream? It doesn't always have to be fancy for it to be a perfect moment, does it?" Marco asked with a grin on his face as he handed Mario a spoon.

Mario just had to chuckle, Marco was being a dork but in a very cute way. Truth to be told, Mario couldn't have imagined a better way to spend his night.

"You're right, this moment is perfect Marco, thank you," Mario said and kissed Marco right on the lips.

Yes, there were times when life was smiling, even during the though times.


	16. A start toward the better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long but I've been awfully busy with everything recently.   
> Blue_Night, you helped me a lot with this chapter and I thank you so much for it, this wouldn't have been like it is without you.   
> To all of you, thank you so much for the feedback, it keeps me going!  
> I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter and it would mean a lot to hear what you think about it :)

Mario was happily watching the team playing a practice match, standing at the side of the pitch.

Mario eyes were mostly focused on Marco, who ran around the rest of the players, looking extremely happy. Mario smiled in delight, seeing Marco so happy always was always like a true wonder to him.

Last night had been absolutely wonderful, and Mario couldn't remember one single morning when he had been as happy as he had been when he had woken up today. He had gotten a glimpse of what life without depression could be like. There hadn't been any worries in the morning, he had just spent time in bed with Marco before it had been time to go to.

But right now, there was one concern in his mind.

Just before entering the pitch, he had gotten a call. The call had been from the psychiatrist's office. It turned out that they had gotten a canceling, so they offered Mario a time that would be already later today, earlier that originally scheduled. Mario had agreed on it, hesitantly. One thing he had learned during the years was that once you get the chance to do something out of the way, you do it.

So Mario had agreed on going to see the therapist today, now he only had to tell Marco, and actually really find the courage to go there. Mario of course, had already decided in his mind that he would go, but it didn't stop his heart rate from pacing up and it didn't stop him from having a minor nervous breakdown.  
Mario tried to shake his worries off for the rest of the day, and he did succeed. Especially after his phone beeped, but now for a different reason.

"Hey Mario! I hope that things are going alright for you, and I hope that you've thought about what we talked about that one night. I miss you, and I'd like to spend time with my friend, so what do you say, could we hang out some day?"  
\- Robert.

Mario smiled as he saw Roberts message and it brightened up his mood.

"Hey Rob, of course I've thought about it, and you already know that it's alright. I'd love to spend time with you soon, as well. Today just isn't quite good, because I have some appointments where I need to be, but tomorrow or the following day would be nice.  
\- Mario

Mario sent the message and then went to the dressing room as the training session ended. Mario waited for Marco to take a shower and get dressed so that they could leave together and Mario could tell Marco about his plans. They had been planning to spend a nice quiet day at home, but of course, it would be different now because of Mario's sudden appointment.  
Marco started the car when Mario began to speak.

"I got a call from the therapy place today. They said that they got a canceling, and told me that I could go there already today."

"Did you agree on going today?"

"Yeah, I thought that it would be nice to kind of getting it over with now. I've been in a rather good mood lately, and I am feeling okay with going there, so it would be good if I went there today," Mario said. Of course, Marco had seen that he had been rather well lately, and hopefully, he would also agree that it would be good if Mario went today.

"Then it's great that you're going today already. I hope that you'll feel even better after your first therapy session," Marco said and smiled.

"Yeah, me too, we'll see how the first time goes."

"Of course, and if you don't like it, we can find another solution, I'm sure. Don't feel forced to do anything."

"I won't, but I really want to go there now. It could be really helpful, and I want to get better for you, for my family, my friends, and for myself, too. It's going to get better," Mario said, mostly to himself.

"I'm proud of you for making that decision, you're so great," Marco said, and then dared to lean over to Mario's seat and kiss his cheek.

"Watch the road!" Mario pleaded and Marco chuckled but did as he was told.

"What time is it?"

"The therapy?"

"Yeah."

"At 5pm."

"Do you want me to take you there?"

"You can, actually, I'd like that. That way I'll be sure that I won't flee, since you'll be watching. If it goes well, for the rest of the times I can go there by myself."

"Then we'll do it that way," Marco said and then focused on the road again. It had started to rain and the visibility was quite bad.

Mario just sat next to Marco, staring outside and listening to the radio. Today, he'd go to the therapy, and if it would go well, they'd plan the next visits too. Mario was getting a little more nervous, but excited at the same time. This was a huge step he was going to take on his road to getting better. Mario was wondering about what he and the therapist were probably going to talk about, when his phone beeped again, and he unlocked it too what was it.

"Of course, just tell me when it would be fine for you! :)"  
\- Robert

"Who was it?" Marco asked.

"Robert," Mario answered and looked at Marco's reaction.

"That's nice," Marco simply stated and smiled. He probably didn't want to pry, although Mario would gladly tell him what was going on.

"He asked me if I wanted to spend time with him."

"You wanted to, didn't you? When are you going to see him?" Marco asked, sounding excited for Mario.

"I was thinking about tomorrow. You know, since tomorrow is the match, I thought that I'd ask him to come to see it since I could give him a ticket. I also thought that I'd ask him to come to our house after that," Mario said.

"That sounds nice. I was actually thinking about going to Auba's tomorrow after the match, so you could be by yourselves. I can stay though, if you want me to?"

"No, it's fine like that. I think we might still have some things to talk through, anyway."

"I'm sure that it will go well," Marco said, making Mario calm down again. Five more hours until the therapy.

 

\---

 

Mario closed the car door again, this time to take a step towards the high building in front of him. His legs were trembling slightly as he took the needed five steps to the door and opened it. He took one last look at Marco who waved at him before he drove off. 

Mario sighed and bit his lips nervously. Now it was time to see the psychiatrist and hopefully start his road to getting better. Mario had been doubting whether this was the right decision, but no matter how hard he tried to think of reasons that it wasn't, he couldn't come up with anything rational. He knew that this was the first step in the right direction, the right thing to do. He had had to be brave in his life before, and this time would be no exception.

Mario pushed the door open and stepped inside the building. He had to wait for the elevator to get to the floor where the psychiatrists office was located, and once he got out of the elevator, he stepped into a cozy looking lobby. In the lobby, he saw the receptionist he had probably been talking to on the phone.

"May I help you?" The girl with the chirpy voice asked. Mario instantly recognized that she had the same voice he had heard on the phone.

"Yeah, uhm, I'm Mario Götze, I'm supposed to have my appointment in five minutes," Mario said, shifting from one leg to another.

"Mr. Götze, yes. Here, you need to give us your personal data at first please. Plus, I need the card of your health insurance, please," the young receptionist said, handing him a sheet of paper. Mario took it while he tried to fish the card out of his pocket with the other hand. 

"Here," he offered with a smile, hoping that his voice didn't give his angst away. The young woman pushed the card into the reader and typed something onto her keyboard before handing him his card back. "Dr. Schulz should be ready when you have filled out our form, Mr. Götze," she stated and Mario nodded and strolled to the chairs at the wall opposite the counter.

The questions were the usual stuff about his address, former diseases or surgeries and medication. Mario answered the questions as accurately as possible before he stood up to give the form back to the receptionist.

She thanked him with a friendly smile. "Please, wait a moment, Mr. Götze, I shall see if Dr. Schulz wants to see you now." She left her place behind the counter and Mario waited patiently as the young woman knocked on the door and then stepped inside, asking something from the office, before she came back to Mario. "You can go now, don't be nervous, Doctor Schulz is very nice."

Mario nodded and walked to the room, only to see an older woman sitting behind a desk. She rapidly got up from the desk and smiled at Mario standing by the door, smiling nervously. Mario was still tense, but somehow, Doctor Schulz looked nice and comforting. The room also seemed comfortable, in addition to the desk, there were two big armchairs.

"Hello Mr. Götze, so nice to see that you came today! I'm Doctor Schulz," the lady said, and shook Mario's hand.

"Hello," was all Mario managed to utter, he was still so nervous, and now there was no turning back.

"It's alright to be nervous Mr. Götze, but I can assure you that you don't have to be. We'll take our time with everything, so don't feel pressured. Take a seat so we can have a chat," Doctor Schulz said, and Mario sat down, feeling a little weight being lifted off his shoulders.

"I'm a little nervous," Mario admitted out loud, surprisingly enough. He found it easier to talk to Doctor Schulz than he would have thought it before.

"I can understand that, this is all very new, but this doesn't have to feel too serious, so we'll just start with talking, could you tell me about yourself?" Dr. Schulz asked, and then Mario started talking.


	17. One step forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter you guys, I hope that you'll enjoy reading it.   
> Thanks a lot again for all the feedback you've given me, every kudos and comment means a lot!   
> Also a special thank you to Blue_Night for doing the beat reading for me and helping me again, thank you dear :)

Marco tapped the steering wheel, impatiently, as he was waiting for Mario outside the building where he had taken him about one and half an hour ago.

Marco was agitated about what might have happened. He so hoped that everything had gone well, and that Mario would feel better now after he had seen the therapist. It would help Mario so much to have a professional to talk to on a regular basis, someone who could really help Mario and might understand better what he is going through. Marco had supported Mario as much as he had been able to, but now he knew that he wasn't going to be the person to help Mario completely out of his depression, and Mario would surely heal a lot faster with a good therapy.

There was the chance that it wasn't going to be alright though, and Marco knew it. Mario had been scared to death of going to see the psychiatrist, and it was possible that he would lock himself up and not tell the truth. It could go bad with the psychiatrist, he or she might be just someone who wouldn't get along with Mario. Mario might fall back into the attitude that nothing could help him, which wasn't the truth, of course. Marco felt ridiculous, he felt like he should try to calm himself down even though it was probably Mario who had had some of the most nervous moments of his life.

There weren't many people around, only some pedestrians were walking by every now and then. Marco had come back to pick Mario up a little earlier than necessarily but he had wanted to, he had been too anxious to stay at home by himself. Marco took a look of his watch and realized that Mario should come back within the next minutes.

Marco was aimlessly staring at the road in front of him, and he snapped out of his thoughts as he heard someone knocking at the window of his car. He turned to look and saw that it was Mario, a shy smile on his face. Marco immediately unlocked the doors and let Mario inside.

"How did it go?" Marco asked as he gazed at Mario. Mario had some papers in his hands and his eyes looked slightly puffy, as if he had cried.

"It was alright. I'll tell you more when we're home," Mario said, as he buckled up. He closed his eyes and let his head fall against the seat.

"Alright, but are you alright?" Marco asked as he already began driving.

"Yes, I am. It was just a lot of things happening and I want you to be able to concentrate on it fully once I start speaking," Mario explained and Marco just nodded at that, letting Mario take a rest. He must have already talked a lot during the past hours.

Marco drove home carefully, trying to avoid all the bumps in the road. Marco drove maybe a little bit too fast because he was burning with interest and wanted to know everything. He wanted Mario to take his time, but he really hoped that once they'd get home Mario would start talking, instantly.

They made their way inside still in silence, so Marco asked:  
"Do you want hot chocolate or something while we talk?"

"Sure, that would be lovely, thank you Marco," Mario answered and made his way to the living room. Marco prepared the beverages thoughtfully, before returning to the living room where Mario was sitting on the couch, putting the papers he had gotten into order.

"Thank you," Mario said as Marco handed him the drink. "It's much more peaceful to talk now."

"It sure is, do you now want to tell me what happened? How did it go?" Marco asked, not being able to stop the questions.

"Of course I want to. It was alright, pretty good, actually. I'm glad that I went there," Mario answered with a sigh and smiled again.

"I'm so relived to hear that! What did you do, what did you talk about?" Marco asked Mario, feeling as if a weight had been taken from his shoulder. He was so happy that it had gone well for Mario, and he knew that Mario was speaking the truth.

"Firstly, Dr. Schulz asked me to tell her my 'story', and how I had ended up to the point where I felt like I needed help. She then asked me a little bit about my feelings, and we talked more about how I felt and possibly why. She kind of broke me into pieces, but in a good way. Now I really understand what is wrong with me, and that all what happened wasn't really my fault. It was pretty emotional for me to talk about it with her, but she really seemed to understand. We didn't get far, because so much has happened to me, but, she already helped me a lot, and I'm sure that if I keep going there more often I can get even better."

"Darling, that's great! I'm so, so happy that it went that good. You're so brave for going there and getting through all of that. I'm sure that it wasn't easy for you, at all," Marco said, before he crushed Mario with his hug, making Mario giggle.

"Thank you Marco, I'm really happy that it went that well, too. I shouldn't have been so scared after all. It isn't going to be easy, but with all the help I'm getting right now, there's no doubt that I will make it."

"Yes, you will make it, I know that for sure!" Marco said as he let go of Mario.

"Yes, I will. She did remind me though that it's going to be a long process and that I have to make some progress in order to get to my goal. She gave me all these papers about how to avoid self harming and feel better about myself. This is all very useful, and she recommended me to read these sometimes when I have time," Mario explained and Marco smiled at him. "She also said that if you want to, you could read some of these too," Mario said.

"I will read them, of course," Marco said, he'd be happy if he was able to help even more. "Did you talk anything about the next time you'll meet?"

"Yes, I'll meet her again on the day after tomorrow. I'll go there to see her twice a week for now, and then as time passes by we can reduce the visits, and then do something else too. She said that once I have seen her by myself for a while, sometimes you could also come with me, if you want to."

"I will come, just whenever you tell me to."

"Thank you Marco, without you I never could have actually gone to therapy. This is going to help me so much, you have no idea. Slowly I'll start feeling even better and then we'll both be happier," Mario said and leaned on Marco's chest.

"I'm so happy that you have an attitude like that, I'll be here for you in this process, but you getting help from Dr. Schulz is surely great. How is she?"

"She's wonderful, she definitely knows what she's doing and she's easy to talk to."  
"That's wonderful Sunny," Marco said, kissing Mario's temple and letting out a sigh.  
"Yes it is, and you're too, life can be wonderful after all, I guess."

"Sure it can! Every day I spend with you is wonderful, every hour, every minute, every second," Marco said and saw how Mario blushed adorably.

"The same goes to you. Dr. Schulz asked me to think of something positive out of every day, and I have you every day, so that's already great."

"That's true, but remember that I'm not the only positive thing in your life."

"That's true, as well, there's my family, and your family..." Mario said, thoughtfully.

"Yes. Our families, but don't forget your friends," Marco reminded Mario.

"Robert."

"Yes, Robert, but then there's also all the players. Marcel is your friend too, and so on. People who are happy about seeing you."

"I'm happy about seeing Robert tomorrow. I hope that he'll be happy about seeing me, too."

"I'm sure he will be," Marco said. He was still a little bitter about what had happened with Robert back then, but, he knew that he could let it go for Mario.


	18. Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support with this story, your feedback is simply invaluable and it makes me very happy. :-)  
> A very special thank you once again goes to Blue_Night for doing the best beta reading and correcting all my mistakes, thank you, dear!   
> I hope that you enjoy this chapter, and if you like it I'd love to hear what you think about it :-)   
> I hope that all of your New Year has been great!

Marco sighed relieved when the referee blew his whistle and announced that the game had ended. The match had again been hard fought, but they had also won it, and that was all that mattered. Marco was happy and hugged most of his teammates, before celebrating with the fans and then disappearing to the locker room.

In the locker room Mario greeted him by kissing him on his cheek and hugging him. It was still weird for Marco to understand that they wouldn't have to hide around their teammates anymore. Marco was going to take full advantage of it for sure, so when he and Mario were about to part, he kissed him straight on the lips and caused some of his teammates to whistle at them.

"You sure that you will be alright with Robert? I can still come home, you know?" Marco asked and held Mario's hand.

"No no Marco, it's alright. You go and have fun tonight, I'll be fine."

"Alright then, I probably won't be away for too long though," Marco said and let Mario go. Mario waved him good bye, making his way to the garage, while Marco stayed in the locker room and waited for Mats and Auba to get ready.

Some of their teammates had already gone their ways, and when Auba and Mats were finally done dressing up, they went to their cars and started to drive to Auba's house in a queue. Marco was quite excited about the evening, he was looking forward to spending carefree time with his two very close friends. It would also be the first time in a while when he'd be around them without Mario, which was strange in a way, since Mario and Marco had spend almost every moment together ever since they had become a couple.

Marco parked on Auba's drive way and picked up the take out they had bought on their way to his friend's house. He entered the house and soon, Auba had already turned up the music, and they were sitting on the living room couch, enjoying the Chinese food Marco had carried inside.

They then proceeded to watch some silly comedy on Netflix, before all of them got bored of it and just started a conversation about their following fixtures and their chance to win the league this year. Finally, Auba cleared his throat, clearly wanting to ask something.  
"So... How's it going with you and Mario, all good?"

"Yeah, all good pretty much. Things have gotten even better for us," Marco said, telling the truth.

"Why isn't Mario with us, by the way?" Mats asked.  
"He has a friend coming over this evening," Marco said and sighed, not being able to hide behind his disguise. He was worried about what might happen with Robert, no matter how much he tried not to. He trusted Mario, and he knew that Mario wouldn't do anything stupid, it was Robert he wasn't so sure about.

"Why do you sound like that, is something wrong?" Auba asked, suddenly much more interested.

"No, I mean yeah, he's with this guy and-"

"Aha! So you're jealous?" Auba asked.

"No! Or well, maybe..." Marco said, wondering whether or not he should tell Mats and Auba the story about what had happened with Robert. 

"Well, do tell us so we can try to help," Mats said and Marco began to tell them what had happened fast forwarded, how he had seen Robert trying to kiss Mario, how Robert had apologized, and how much Mario wished to see him again.  
"Well, it's alright that you're jealous in this situation, isn't it?"

"I'm not jealous. I'm just worried, you know. I trust Mario and I know that he wouldn't do anything inappropriate with Robert, but I just can't help being anxious, you know? Have you ever felt the same way?" Marco asked, frustrated. He shouldn't feel like this but he couldn't help himself.

"Of course," Mats said and Marco smiled, relieved. He wasn't the only one, after all.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's normal. Like when I see Cathy with some of her male friends, hugging them or just smiling at them, I do feel a little jealous even though I'm sure that she loves me to death and that she would never cheat on me. I'm pretty sure that jealousy is just a part of really being in love with someone, loving someone so much that you want them to be truly yours. But when you love them so much, you also want them to be happy. Them being happy includes them meeting other people and communicating with them in a way your mind might find inappropriate. The jealousy hopefully will fade away, however, and eventually you'll realize that it was needless, because you are the only person whom they really love the most."

Marco stared at Mats, dumbfounded. He really had a point there, and that was probably the reason why Marco felt slightly jealous. He really loved Mario, and because he was so in love, it might have made him a little too sensitive to everything. Marco however also understood that the jealousy he felt was stupid, after all, Mario had assured him hundreds of times that Marco was the only one he really loved. Marco would just have to understand that better, and as time would pass by, he would.

"Mats, I can't really believe it, but you actually just said something very useful," Marco said, patting his shoulder. "Thanks man."

"Anytime, I don't know how you are really feeling, but I can just see how much you love Mario, undoubtedly more than anything in this world, so that might make you feel jealous. But believe me, I can also see how Mario loves you more than anything, so you shouldn't have to feel jealous. After all, you're quite a catch for the eye, funny and a gentleman, why wouldn't Mario love you?"

"Stop it, you're making me blush," Marco complained as Mats messed up his hair.

"Yeah, and you're making it pretty clear that Mario is only yours," Auba snickered.

"What do you mean?"

"It's the way you act around him. I don't know if you have noticed it yourself but, you are a little possessive, the way you touch him, hold your arms around him, find an excuse just to hold him..." Auba said, more seriously.

"Oh, I hadn't realized that," Marco said, going through the moments where he had been with Mario around Auba in his mind. He held Mario close, oftentimes, but just because he wanted to.

"Auba is right, I think that everybody who has even a slight hunch know that Mario is with you," Mats said.

"That isn't a bad thing, is it?" Marco asked.

"No, not really, not when you're around us, but other people... They might start suspecting Marco, especially after that photo of you two holding hands," Auba said and Marco gulped. He knew that Auba was right.

"I know... And I don't really know what to do. I mean, I am not ready to come out to the world or anything."

"It wouldn't hurt to present Mario to the world though? Not as your boyfriend, but just as a person who you know, so people wouldn't think that you're hiding him or something."

'That's actually a good idea,' Marco mused and then, fell into his thoughts.

 

\---

 

"Thanks for inviting me over," Robert said probably for the thousandth time and Mario just shushed him. "It was my pleasure Rob! I've missed you, it's nice to spend time together again," Mario said, smiling genuinely happy now.

He had waited for Robert outside the stadium, so that he could drive him to his and Marco's place, and then spend some time with him there. Mario had been fidgeting on the car seat, not being able to keep his calm as he was looking forward to seeing his friend again after such a long time.

Robert had finally arrived at the car, still buzzing in excitement after the match. Mario had been happy together with him as they made their way to Mario's home, and caught up on everything that had happened in their lives. For Mario, there hadn't been much happening, but Robert had apparently met a woman, someone who had really seemed to have stolen his heart, and Mario was truly happy for Robert.

Now, Robert was sitting in his living room, sipping from the large mug of coffee Mario had made for him while Mario sat next to him after turning on the radio to play in the background.

"This is a really nice place you're living in," Robert said as he looked around.

"Yeah, this is Marco's place, I just moved in here after our relationship got more serious."

"How's it going between you two, anyway?"

"Very well, thanks for asking. There haven't been many obstacles on our way, and we are still very much in love," Mario said.

"You know I never meant to come between you. I didn't want anything bad to happen, I'm sorry for all what I did," Robert said, sounding regretful again.  
"You don't have to keep saying that you're sorry," Mario said and smiled. "It was everything going on around me, that sometimes made things a little difficult between us," Mario added and bit his lip insecurely. Robert yet didn't know about his depression, and Mario was thinking that it would be the right time to let him know. He didn't want secrets to be between them, especially 'a secret' that was such a big part of Mario's life, after all. Telling Robert would be kind of like therapy for him, and it would lift another rock off his shoulders. The psychiatrist had told him that having a depression was nothing to be ashamed of, and Mario had understood her, he just hoped that Robert wasn't going to react badly.

"What do you mean?"

"I never told you this before, but I was- and still am, depressed, quite severely in fact. I never went to get help. It was hard for Marco to learn about it, and it wasn't easy for me to admit it, either," Mario said, a little insecurely.

"What?! I mean, I had no idea... I'm so sorry to hear this. Could I have done something? I mean, as you friend, you could have of course asked me for help or something," Robert said, his eyes full of worries, and suddenly Mario was quite shocked.

"You would've cared so much?"

"Of course! Mario, you're my friend, I would've done anything I could've done to make you feel better! You could've just told me!" Robert said, and Mario suddenly had a lump in his throat. He hadn't known that Robert really cared so much.  
"I- I didn't really know that you cared this much, to offer your help," Mario said, emotionally.

"I care, I really do! And if there's anything I could still do right now, I could really try to help, just tell me what can I do, and I will do it the best I can!" Robert said.  
"As long as you'll stay my friend, I'll be more than fine," Mario said and then felt Robert coming closer and hugging him.

Of course, that was the exact moment Marco chose to open the door.


	19. Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter after a while, I hope that you'll enjoy reading it, and as always your feedback would mean the world to me and give me motivation to write more :-) 
> 
> Once again a very special thank you goes to Blue_Night for again doing the beta reading, thank you, dear!

As soon as Marco had opened the door, he froze.

He saw Mario, hugging Robert, his head resting on Robert's chest with Robert's wrapped arms tightly around his back. The hug probably was nothing more than a friendly hug, but, it hit Marco deeply and he cleared his throat quickly.

"Uhm, hi Robert, hi Mario, I'm sorry if I interrupted something, I'm just going to go upstairs, so you can continue with whatever you were doing," Marco said and then started to fly up the stairs with fast and determined steps. He glanced downstairs, where he saw Mario letting go of Robert with a worried look on his face. Marco only gave him a weak smile, he knew that nothing 'suspicious' was going on between the love of his life and Robert, it was again his mind playing tricks on him. He wanted to get his thoughts back under control, so he headed to the bedroom and hoped that Mario wouldn't stop whatever they were doing because of him. Mario didn't deserve to be worried about Marco on top of all.

Marco closed the bedroom door and leaned his forehead against it. He took a few deep breaths to calm his heartbeat down and try to get his mind to work properly. _Mario was only hugging Robert, he was only hugging him. Robert was making a friendly gesture, he was taking good care of a friend. A friend,_ Marco thought. Marco couldn't stay at one spot, feeling too nervous, and he walked back and forth between the bed and the closet, noticing how he was overthinking and nearly sweating. He needed to stop it now, so he went to lay on the bed and closed his eyes. It didn't work. His mind kept spinning around the mental image of Mario hugging Robert and as soon as he closed his eyes, he could see Mario kissing Robert.

It was wrong, Mario wouldn't kiss Robert. He wouldn't kiss anyone else than Marco. At least not now. But maybe in the future? Marco couldn't know. Marco knew that he was being paranoid and probably thinking stupidly as well, but he couldn't help his doubts. He knew that he was no perfect man, he had his flaws, like this goddamn insecurely he still felt, and he could get a little grumpy at times. Maybe Mario was starting to get fed up with all that and searched for the comfort he needed from Robert.

Marco's mind was short circuiting, now he was thinking about every possible thing in him that could make Mario fall out of love with him. Was he snoring? Was he too loud? Did he spend enough time with Mario? Did he support him enough? Did he show him his love as often as he could? He was thinking about absurd things and he knew that he should stop it.

He tried to focus on the voices he could hear from downstairs, but he couldn't hear anything specific. He couldn't hear Mario or Robert talking, he couldn't hear anything and the silence was starting to buzz in his ears. He needed some reassurance, he wanted to talk to someone, he needed someone to bring him to his senses.

He decided to call somebody. Not Auba, nor Mats, because after tonight they'd surely call him crazy and tell him to try to remember what they had talked about, so they probably couldn't help. He needed someone who was a bystander in their relationship, someone who had seen them being together. He went through his options and decided to call Marcel, he'd probably still be up because it wasn't awfully late yet. Marco dialed the number and the phone rang a few times, before Marcel finally, answered. Thank God for that, Marco really needed his best friend right now.

"Marco, sup?" Marcel answered.

"What if he doesn't love me anymore?" Marco asked, worriedly, right away. Marcel stuttered at the other end of the line. "Marco?" He asked. "Who wouldn't love you anymore?"

"Mario! What if he one day finds someone else? What if I'm not enough?" Marco asked, knowing that he fell back into the unpleasant thoughts he should avoid. _Mario loves me, he told me that just a while ago,_ Marco thought, but he couldn't convince himself.

"What? Why wouldn't Mario love you, have you done something stupid?" Marcel asked.

"I don't know! What if I have done something and I haven't just noticed it! What if he's starting to get fed up with me without me even noticing it!" Marco complained and rubbed his face with his other hand.

"Marco, calm down," Marcel said, sensing his friend's distress. Marco took a few deep breaths again and when Marcel heard that he wouldn't interrupt again, he continued. "If you haven't done anything stupid, why are you so worried? You're still the same person as you were when Mario fell in love with you. Has Mario shown any signs of him _not_ being in love with you?"

Marco thought about Marcel's words. No, Mario actually hadn't shown any signs. "No, he hasn't," Marco answered after a little pause. "Then why are you afraid?"

"It's just that... I'm so afraid of losing him! I know that I can be quite a dork sometimes, but I love him to death and I want to treat him the best way I possibly can. What if he doesn't see it or what if someone is better than me?" "Marco, I'm sure that there isn't a better boyfriend than you. Whenever I see you two together, I can see how happy you make Mario and how happy Mario makes you. Why are you this insecure about your relationship?" Marcel asked, and Marco tried to figure out how to put his thoughts into proper sentences. "I guess I'm just really afraid of losing him."

"Alright, well I doubt that that is going to happen, but, I'm not the one whom you should be talking to. You need to talk about this with Mario. This is obviously bothering you and you can't let this dominate your mind so much, in order to be the best boyfriend for Mario. Don't doubt yourself so much. Sure, you can be a dork sometimes, but that doesn't make you any less 'good'. Talk about this with Mario, I'm sure that he'll understand," Marcel advised and Marco felt calmer. Marcel was speaking the truth, he being this insecure all of a sudden and doubting himself wouldn't do anything good for their relationship.

"Thank you, Marcel. I don't know what to say, except that you're right, I should talk with Mario." "You don't need to say anything, this is what friends are for, right? Now go talk to him and get this weight off your shoulders," Marcel said.

"I will do that, thank you again, for everything. You've been so supportive and always here for me whenever I've had a problem," Marco said, thankfully.

"No problem Marco, good night now, go tell your man how much you love him."

"Good night," Marco said and hang up. Right after he had hung up and closed his eyes again, he heard their front door open and close.

 

\---

 

Mario closed the door behind Robert and immediately sprang up the stairs, hoping that Marco was in their bedroom. Mario cursed silently, of course Marco had had to come inside right when Robert had hugged him after his revelation. He had instantly known that Marco might have taken it the wrong way since he still seemed to be insecure about Robert. He seemed to be jealous, even though Mario had tried to convince him that he had no reason to be.

Mario loved Marco more than anyone and he would never replace him with anybody else. Marco was perfect, he was everything Mario could ever wish for. He had helped Mario so much and showed him what love is. He had adored Mario and loved him like no one else. What more could Mario ask for?

Robert had also sensed that something hadn't been right and had politely offered to leave. Mario had told him that everything was probably fine, because he didn't want to sound rude, so Robert had stayed for a little while longer before he had excused himself and left. They had agreed that they'd meet again sometime when they'd both have time again, which hopefully would be soon again.

Now Mario was slightly out of breath as he stood behind the door, trying to hear if Marco was doing anything. He didn't hear anything, but he hoped that Marco was in the bedroom. "Marco, can I come inside?" He called from outside the bedroom door. He didn't just want to walk in and he was praying that Marco would answer him so that he wouldn't have to force his way inside.

"Of course," Mario heard Marco say weakly, and Mario opened the door carefully, only to see Marco laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He turned to Mario as he stepped inside and Mario smiled gently. He saw the distress on his boyfriends face, which confirmed his worries that Marco might still feel insecure or jealous. Mario stepped closer to the bed and Marco got up into a sitting position as Mario sat on the edge of the bed. "Well don't stay there, come here," Marco said, and Mario took the invitation, crawling to the middle of the bed where Marco gently pulled him closer as they rested their backs against the wall. Marco put his arm around Mario and pressed a gentle kiss on Mario's temple but, Mario sensed that he was being more careful than normally.

"You know that you could've come to spend time with us, right?" Mario asked trying to open up the conversation he knew they'd need to have.

"Of course, but you had your moment there, I just didn't want to disturb you," Marco said, avoiding Mario's gaze.

"You do know that it was nothing more than a simple hug, don't you?" Mario asked. "I know," Marco said and cleared his throat, but didn't speak. Mario knew that he wouldn't pressure him to explain anything, but Mario wanted to.

"I told Robert."

"Told him what?"

"About my depression."

"Oh," Marco said and turned to look Mario in the eyes again. "Was that why he hugged you?" Marco asked and Mario smiled at him. At least Marco didn't seem to be too jealous.

"Yes. He told me that he would always be there for me and try to help me. He also said to me that he would have always been there for me. It was kind of surprising to realize something like that, back then, I used to think that I was completely alone and that nobody cared. I feel a little stupid now that I used to think that way, but at least now I know that I won't have to think that way anymore," Mario explained and took a deep breath. It had been emotionally challenging, but he was more stable now.

"Luckily now you don't have to worry about that. Robert cares about you, just like many other people," Marco said and Mario could hear his voice cracking. "Just like me. You care about people, too, and you deserve to have everybody caring about you, as well."

"But you know that I care about you in a different way. I care about you more than anyone!" Mario explained hurriedly, because he didn't want Marco to think that he cared about everybody else the same way as he cared about Marco, because it was different. Marco looked up again, still with eyes full of doubts and worries. "Really," Mario said.

"Are you sure? Because I'd understand if you didn't," Marco said and tried to avert his gaze again, but Mario didn't let him. Mario had no clue what Marco was talking about right now. "What do you mean?" Mario asked.

"Just that I know that I'm not perfect and that it can be hard to love me at times. There are greater people than me," Marco said and Mario's eyes grew big. "What. Are. You. Talking. About?!"

"I wanted to talk to you about this, actually. I know that I'm probably thinking very irrationally and that this doesn't make any sense but, I'm very afraid of you finding someone new or loving someone else more than you love me. It doesn't make any sense, because I shouldn't be worried about that, right? But I can't help it!" Marco said.

Mario just looked at Marco, not knowing what to say. He had had no idea that Marco felt this way. He had always thought that Marco was the confident one of them and to Mario, it was very clear that he loved Marco more than anyone and he had thought that Marco knew it too. Mario still didn't say anything, he just kept staring at Marco, deep in the eyes. He knew that he needed to find the right words, but the problem was that he didn't have any. The feelings he had for Marco weren't to be explained in words. He wordlessly brushed his fingers over Marco's cheek, and kissed him tenderly, only for a brief moment before he pulled back.

"Is that really what you think? That I would find someone else? That I could possibly love someone else more than you?" Mario asked, after a moment of silence.

"Yes," Marco admitted in a slightly broken voice, pulling Mario closer. Mario snuggled against Marco's chest, doing his part to give him comfort. He knew that this talk wasn't easy for Marco. Something he had learned during the time they had been together was, that Marco found it hard to talk about his feelings. He seemed to be always so strong, but he was not a machine either, he had his insecurities and at times, he was afraid, too. Mario needed to be there for him right now.

"You don't have a reason to feel like that, Marco. I'd never want to love anybody else more than I love you. And yes, you aren't perfect, but nobody is. You are perfect just the way you are and if you think that you wouldn't be enough for me, you're being stupid. You are everything I could ever ask for," Mario said, openly, and saw how Marco eyes lit up. "Are you sure?" Marco asked, this time with a more secure voice.

"Yes, of course I am. You have been there for me, always. You have given me comfort when I've needed it. You've loved me. You've laughed together with me, you've cried together with me, and we've been through so much. You're my rock Marco, my everything, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I trust you and I love you. You're reliable, funny, polite, handsome and most of all, you love me. It was hard for me to understand it in the beginning, but now I do. You love me and that is the greatest gift God has ever given me," Mario said, feeling how his tears were threatening to run down his cheeks. Marco just looked at him with big eyes, before he broke into a wide smile and took Mario's face in his hands. He kissed Mario again, this time with more security and like the Marco he normally was.

"I can't tell you how much hearing that means to me, Sunny. I love you so much, and I don't ever want to lose you, because without you, this life wouldn't be the same."

"I won't ever go away Marco, I promise," Mario said and kissed Marco again, with Marco pulling him on top of him, and then starting to kiss his way down Mario's neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any thoughts, please do share them with me, it would make me very happy! :-)


	20. Better and worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your feedback so far, it really means a lot to me, and I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter and tell me what you thought about it, it would give me a lot of motivation to continue.   
> Also, once again thank you Blue_Night for doing the beta reading for this story, too :-)

The next two days were a lot better for Marco.  
After he had had the heart to heart talk with Mario, his heart had felt a lot lighter and he had been able to enjoy himself a lot more. His mood had also gotten a lot better and his teammates had noticed that, as well. Marco was looking forward to the upcoming, with enthusiasm and excitement. Mario seemed to be happy, too, and when it was time for him to go to therapy again, he hadn't been near as nervous as he had been a few days earlier when he had gone there for the first time.

Marco was waiting for Mario to come back from the therapy now. Mario had insisted on taking his own car and going there by himself. Marco hadn't objected because he trusted Mario enough to know that Mario knew what was the best for him. Marco was playing with their dog, Zoey, in front of the fire place as he thought about life itself.

Right now, his life was quite perfect. Living together with Mario like this, surrounded by their friends and family, was almost everything he could ask for. He had a loving boyfriend, great friends, a job he truly loved, and a good life he enjoyed living. Sure, he still had dreams he wanted to fulfill, but for now, at this moment, he felt like he had everything he could possibly need. He smiled as Zoey turned around on the soft rug and swung her tale excitedly. Both, he and Mario, had grown very attached to Zoey, and she was their little baby, even though she was becoming a grown up in a very fast rate.

Although, in a longer aim, there were still things that could make Marco's life even more perfect. Like having his own little family. He, Mario and Zoey were a little family already, but he wanted something more. One day, he could have everything with Mario, but for now, he needed to wait for a while. He would have to wait for the right moment, and Marco hoped and prayed, that nothing would stop him from getting to that moment.

Marco kept playing with their almost overly excited dog for a few moments more, before he heard their front door unlock. Zoey sprang up and ran to the direction of the door and Marco knew that Mario was home.

Marco raised himself up to the couch, as he heard Mario greeting Zoey and taking his shoes off. Soon enough, Mario came into the living room and smiled at Marco, who smiled back at him. "Hey, darling!" Mario said happily as he sat on the couch next to Marco.

Marco welcomed Mario back with a kiss on his lips before he spoke. "Hey love, how was the therapy?"

"It went well. Probably even better than the last time. Of course it still hurts a little because Dr. Schulz is kind of breaking me into pieces, but only in the good way. I understand how much went wrong, and that it really wasn't my fault. So many unfortunate things that were just bad luck happened, and they were really not my fault. She's helping me and advising me a lot to start forgetting them, at least partly," Mario explained as he snuggled closer to Marco's chest.

"I know that it's quite early, but do you think that you've made some progress?" Marco dared to ask, since Mario didn't seem to be uncomfortable with talking about the therapy.

"Yes, I think so, even if it's only been a short time. Doctor Schulz also said that I have good chances of getting better, she says that I have a good attitude towards getting better, and that I have the right motivation."

"So you think that her advice have helped?"

"Yes. I now notice it when I'm starting to think wrongly and sometimes, I can stop it," Mario said.

"But still not always?" Marco asked, a little desperately. He wished that Mario wouldn't need to think badly, at all. Mario had explained to him once what he meant when he said that he was thinking badly. It meant that Mario was in a circle of bad thoughts, stuck with his memories, and that he was blaming himself for nearly everything.

"Not always, but more everyday. Don't worry about it Marco, I'm alright, really. And I will be more alright everyday," Mario said, and Marco kissed his temple.  
"I know you will, Mario," Marco said, convinced that he could make their life even more perfect.

 

\---

 

The following few days went really smoothly for Mario. Smoother than they had probably ever gone. He was enjoying 'domestic bliss' with Marco, nothing too surprising was happening in their lives. They had met Fabian and Marco's parents one day when they had had time off and that had gone well, too. Mario had been able to not to let the bad thoughts dominate his mind, he had been able to stay positive. He had been able to stop the brief moments when he had felt bad rather quickly.

Mario had had quite a good talk with Fabian about his future. Fabian had been thrilled when he had found out that Mario was going to therapy now, and that he was enjoying his life a lot more these days. Fabian had offered to help in any ways he could and Mario appreciated it, a lot.  
Marco was still helping him, too, of course. He kept asking how Mario felt, and Mario was grateful for it. One of the changes since he had started the therapy was that now if he really felt a little bad, he dared to say it to Marco without being embarrassed or afraid.

Even though Mario had enjoyed the few calmer days he had had with Marco, he was excited to have some excitement in their lives again. BVB was playing against Hertha, at home in the Westfalenstadion. Mario sat on the benches next to Marco's teammates, who hadn't made the team today.

Mario watched Marco running up and down the pitch, buzzing with energy. The match was about to end, with Dortmund winning with a small margin. Mario could see almost the entire team defending, wanting to end with a high and not concede towards the end.

Mats won the ball back quite near Dortmund's goal and kicked it right to the other end of the pitch where Schmelle caught it with some great ball handling skills.  
Mario saw Marco running towards the opposition goal, ready to catch Schmelle's pass. Schmelle passed the ball high towards Marco, who jumped to head the ball into the net.

But what Marco didn't see, was that the Hertha goalkeeper was running towards him. Mario watch horrified as the goalkeeper tried to reach for the ball with his fists, but instead of hitting the ball, he hit Marco's head.

Mario gasped as he saw Marco's head get a hard blow. Marco didn't react in any way as he fell back down, right on his shoulder, which turned into an abnormal position.

Marco wasn't moving, he wasn't reacting to the goalkeeper trying to wake him up. The entire stadium fell silent, as everybody was waiting for Marco to get up. His body was still just laying there, his arm in an abnormal angle, his legs pointing in different directions. Marco was injured, badly.

Mario couldn't breathe, he felt his blood run cold. His heartbeat missed several beats as he looked at the clearly unconscious body of the love of his life. Mario's ears rang, this couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose Marco, he just couldn't. He couldn't bear the thoughts hitting his mind, the thought of Marco in an ambulance, the thought of Marco being in pain, Marco being hurt. The thought of Marco not able to respond to his calls, the thought of Marco laying in a hospital bed, still not moving.  
Mario scarcely noticed almost every one of Marco's teammates running towards him, even Roman, the goalkeeper. Everything had seemed to stay silent for a short forever, but now, Mario could hear his fellow colleagues cursing and quickly getting into action.

Mario found it hard to move his legs, as he started to run towards Marco with the rest of his colleagues.

"No," was all he could whisper as he stepped on the turf and ran towards the immobile body of his boyfriend.


	21. Long hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter after a while again, I hope that you'll like it. Thank you for everyone who have given feedback, it means a lot to me and again would make me very happy, if you decide to share your thoughts with me.   
> Thank you again Blue_Night, for going the beta reading for this chapter, too :-)

Marco tried to force his eyelids open.

What had happened?

He scarcely noticed that he was lying on the ground, but he wasn't completely sure of his surroundings. He tried to open his eyes again, before he felt someone's arm on his shoulder. Whose hand was it?

Marco saw the Hertha goalkeeper looming over him, mumbling something Marco couldn't detect. Marco's vision was still blurred, and his ears weren't properly functioning.  
He wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to sleep, he really wanted to, even though he was now aware that he was lying on a football field. He could hear hardly anything except for the buzzing in his eyes, before he felt someone shake him carefully.  
"Marco, wake up!" Mats yelled, hovering over him, looking incredibly worried.

"N-no," Marco mumbled and gave into his eyelids that wanted to close again. Mats shook him again, and this time Marco's eyes flew open.

Pain, horrible pain.

Marco now saw Mats shaking him, a lot of people around him were looking at him with concerned looks on their faces.

What had happened? Marco asked himself again.

He frowned as he tried to get up, his pain getting worse again, as he looked at his body.

He saw his arm dangling in an angle that no arm should ever have and this pulled him at least partly out of his dazed state.  
Marco screamed in shock, when he felt someone gently lowering him down again, back onto the turf.

Mario. Mario's eyes were staring into his and tears were streaming down his face. Mario looked so concerned, his eyes were traveling back and forth on Marco's body.  
"What happened?" Marco mumbled. He was now alert, completely aware of the horrible pain in his shoulder, ribs and head, he could see people gaping at him in shock and horror, some of them covering their mouths with their hands. The other physiotherapists and doctors were signaling people to move out of the way. Marco tried to speak again, but instead of words coming out, he could only cough as he felt like something was ripping his lungs apart.

"You got a blow in your head and you fell, Marco, don't try to speak, you are injured!" Mario said, still holding Marco down with his hands.

"No, I'm n-not injured," Marco said, no, he couldn't be injured, he just couldn't.

"Marco, don't speak, you're going to be fine, you're going to be alright. You have to be," Mario said, his voice breaking on the last sentence. Marco forced his eyes to stay open to look at Mario, who was trying to hold on to the last pieces of his calmness by taking deep breaths.

"Mario, please don't go," Marco said.

"I promise you, I won't. Just try to stay awake Marco, please," Mario said, but Marco wasn't sure if he could.

The last thing he heard was the siren of the ambulance.

 

\---

 

Mario looked at Marco, lying unconscious in the hospital bed, looking as if he was asleep.

Mario had a hard time trying to control the sobs threatening to wreck his body. He just couldn't believe that this had happened, Marco had gotten injured, badly, and he now couldn't even respond to Mario's calls. Mario knew that this was only because he was under the effect of strong painkillers, but it was still a horrible situation to be in.

What had they done to deserve this? Their life had been so perfect. Everything had gone well, and now this.

Mario closed his eyes as he painfully relived the time they had spent on the pitch and the way to the hospital in the ambulance, hearing Marco's words for him again. Mario had begged Marco to stay awake, it would have been essential, but Marco just hadn't been able to keep his eyes open. Mario had started to cry right there and then, clinging to Marco's injured body like it was the last time he could hold him.

Stephen, one of the other physiotherapists had signaled the ambulance to get closer, and once the paramedics had arrived to check on Marco, Stephen had forced Mario to back away a little bit to give the paramedics enough space. The paramedics had examined Marco quickly and come to the conclusion that Marco must have gotten a really hard blow to his head and that he had a dislocated shoulder and maybe broken ribs. They had carefully placed Marco on the spinal board and asked who would come to the ambulance with him. That instant all eyes had turned on Mario and after getting the nod from the trainer, Mario had climbed into the ambulance, rushing to the hospital with Marco.

No other ride had ever felt so long as the ride to the hospital had felt. Mario had been forced to sit in the front together with the driver while the other one of the paramedics had been taking care of Marco in the back. She had managed to inform Mario a little bit on the way, while trying to get more information about Marco's head injury. Mario hadn't calmed down at all, he had studied enough medicine to understand that head injuries like this could be really bad. He had prayed to God that it wasn't anything bad.

At the hospital they had taken Marco to the emergency room, while Mario had been guided to a more private room not far away. The general reception had been full of reporters. Mario had made quick calls to Marco's parents and his sisters, informing that all he knew was that Marco had been taken to a CT scan of his brain. They had told Mario that they were on their way and that they'd be there as soon as possible, obviously shocked about what had happened.

The next hour had been the most nervous hour of Mario's life, walking back and fourth in the small room he was in, still praying that he'd get some news of Marco being alright. Fabian had also called and tried to calm Mario down as good as he had been able to, but truth to be told, nothing had been able to calm Mario down. After that, Marco's parents and Yvonne had arrived, all of them hugging Mario before letting him tell them everything he knew. It had lasted a while longer after that before a young doctor had finally arrived. 

She had told that Marco had been slightly conscious when they had started to examine him and taken the CT, but after that he had been given a general anesthesia in order to fix his shoulder, which had been dislocated without causing him any pain. His head had also been scanned and the doctors had found out that he had a very bad concussion, but that was all. His flanks had also been badly bruised, but at least, no ribs had been broken.

Mario had felt a little more relieved after the news, but still worried, nevertheless. He and the rest of Marco's family had been guided to the room where Marco was staying for now. After seeing Marco in the hospital bed, Mario had completely broken down and Yvonne had held him tightly, crying herself, too. Marco's parents had been scared, too at first, but after their first shock, they had been more rational than Mario, who had still been crying and asked the doctors more about Marco's state.

Now, Mario was alone in the room, holding Marco's hand as he kept looking at him, hoping that he would wake up soon. Marco's parents had gone to the other room to inform the rest of Marco's relatives that he was alright, for now. They had also met the team representative who would tell the press more about Marco's state, when it got more clearer.

Even though Marco didn't look as if he would wake up any time soon, Mario had yet once felt as if he had squeezed his fingers but he hadn't tried to open his eyes so far. Mario closed his eyes for one moment, the exhaustion and sleep trying to catch him.  
"Mhm, what happened?" Mario heard Marco mumble drowsily, and his eyes flew open that instant.

"Marco! Thank God you're awake!" Mario said, now managing to smile weakly. Marco was alright, he was still here, Mario hadn't lost him. Marco looked really tried, his hair was tousled and all over his face.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. During the match, you got a hard blow on your head, and you fell down, dislocating your shoulder and bruising yourself quite badly. You got a concussion too, but it's alright now, the doctors fixed your arm and told me that you're going to be alright," Mario said.

"Oh," Marco said, opening his eyes wider and inspecting his body. Marco's arm was in an arm sling attached to his body, while the rest of his body appeared somewhat alright.

"Do you remember anything?"

"Only that I was trying to reach the ball when I got hit in the head and then I must have gone unconscious for a while. Then I remember your eyes, you asking me to stay awake, but then I must have lost consciousness again." After talking, Marco screwed his face up in pain, closing his eyes again.

"Take a rest. I will call the nurse, it's going to be alright," Mario explained and then pushed the button to call the nurse.

"I'm sorry that this happened," Marco mumbled before he closed his eyes again. "Please tell my parents that I'm alright."

"I will Marco. Don't worry."

"And Mario?"

"Yes?"

"Please stay here."

"I will Marco. I'll be right here, I won't leave you," Mario said, finally letting himself cry tears of relief.


	22. Calm after the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update took so long, but this story got hardly any feedback and I wasn't really interested in writing it, and focused more on my other stories.   
> Thank you Blue_Night for doing the beta reading again, this chapter is for you, :-)   
> I hope that anyone else who's still reading this story will like this chapter, I hope that you'll let me know what you think about it, feedback would mean a lot.

Marco groaned as he opened his eyes again, this time almost blinded by the bright halogen lamps pointing right into his eyes.

He hardly remembered that he was in a hospital but the stinging smell of disinfectant tingled his nose. He opened his eyes, completely, and noticed that Mario was sleeping in a chair not far away from his bed. What time was it? Marco thought as he glanced at the nightstand and noticed that it was nearly six am. He had apparently fallen asleep after he and Mario had had the talk, and Mario had kept his promise, he hadn't gone anywhere.

Mario's eyes were closed and he was breathing steadily, but Marco could see the small traces of tears on his cheek and it made his heart ache.  
He hated himself for having gotten himself hurt, even if it had been an accident, he hadn't wanted to make Mario worry. He knew how Mario felt, he had been in the same situation when Mario had gotten hit by the car that one time. Staying by Mario's hospital bed had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do in his life. Now Mario had to be there, worrying about him.

Marco didn't dare to wake Mario up, as much as he wanted to. He didn't know how much sleep Mario had gotten, but Marco assumed that it hadn't been much. After all it had been quite late when they had arrived at the hospital, and it was only six in the morning now. His and Mario's conversation came back to his mind, and he was reminded by his parents, Marco hoped that they wouldn't be too worried and that Mario would have filled them with the information he must have gotten from the nurses. Marco's mind was still hazy, but he remembered that he had had a very bad concussion and that he would have to keep his arm in an arm sling for a while.

He decided to check on his smartphone, just to see if he could see the accident and what had happened himself. He scrolled through his Twitter, noticing that many people had wished him a quick recovery, before he stumbled over the video about his injury. Marco gulped as he watched it, he was really lucky that he had survived with this little damage. It looked really bad, and Marco could only imagine how horrified Mario must have been. He watched the video to the point where he was carried to the ambulance before he closed it and opened a new video. In the video his manager told the press briefly that his state was stable and that further information would be updated tomorrow, meaning today. Marco then put his phone away, he couldn't bear to watch anything more. He buried his face in his hand that wasn't injured and wondered how he would get through the next weeks. He would have to deal with the press, he couldn't play football for a while, and he would have to work hard for his recovery on the pitch.

Marco snapped as he heard the door opening as someone peeked from behind the door. Marco saw that it was his father, surprisingly enough. He sighed as he saw that Marco was awake and carefully walked into the room, closing the door behind him quietly in order to avoid waking Mario up. He walked to Marco's bed and smiled shyly before he sat on the edge of the bed. "You really scared us," he said.

"I know, dad, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I have no idea how this even happened," Marco said, sounding regretfully. "Do the rest already know what's happened to me?"

"Yes, Mario came to tell us what had happened after you had waken up for the first time. We came to see you too, but you were still asleep. Your mother was quite devastated, but after hearing the doctors she calmed down a little bit. It was quite late and I managed to convince her to go home to sleep, and told her that she could come back in the morning and that I would tell her if anything went wrong. I told Mario that he could go too, but he refused to leave your side at all. He stayed here the whole time."

Marco gulped as he looked at his father and then at Mario, who still hadn't woken up. "Is he alright?" Marco asked, nodding in his direction.

"Yes, though he is probably shaken by all of this, just like we all are. You have never been injured like this before. Mario was strong when he was around us but I'm pretty sure that he is scared about all of this, "Marco's father answered.

"I understand," Marco said and sighed, closing his eyes. He wished that this had never happened, everything had just been perfect and now, his injury ruined everything.

"You should try to rest, it's hardly even morning. The doctors should come to check on you in a couple of hours, and then you can go home," Marco's father said, starting to leave the room.

"Thank you, dad, for staying. You should rest now though, I'm alright really," Marco said, getting a nod in response from his father.

"I'll be in the room just behind the wall, I'll come back in a few hours," Marco's father said and with those words closed the door, leaving Marco alone in his cold hospital room, far away from getting any sleep.

 

\---

 

Mario woke up to the sound of the door opening, making his eyes shoot open immediately.

He was a little disoriented at first, not understanding what was happening before he saw the doctor emerging in the room and going to Marco, who was awake. Mario got up on his feet, his heartbeat pacing up again after seeing that Marco was in fact awake, he was alright.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Schneider," the doctor introduced himself to Marco who looked at the doctor, before his gaze turned to Mario when he noticed that Mario had woken up again. Marco smiled faintly, giving Mario some relief. "Good to see that you have woken up again," Dr. Schneider added, before he turned to Mario, giving him a short smile.

"Yeah," Marco said, sounding very clear and not drowsily at all.

"Let's see how you're doing, shall we?" Dr. Schneider asked, Marco nodding in response. Dr. Schneider looked into Marco's eyes with a light, examining his pupils before asking him some normal questions, like if he remembered anything from the past hours and if he did, what exactly did he remember. Mario listened attentively, getting slightly more relieved as Marco seemed to remember everything. Marco told that he wasn't feeling particularly bad, only that his hand and head were hurting a little bit.

"Your head and shoulder hurting are normal at the moment. The headache should go away during the next few days, though," Dr. Schneider said. "You could go home tomorrow, as long as you'll have someone to look after you."

"He will, I will stay with him," Mario said before thinking, but Dr. Schneider didn't seem to react to it any differently as he proceeded to tell Mario about how he should wake Marco up at least twice during the night to make sure that everything was alright with him. He then told Marco about how he should take care of his shoulder and give the rest of his body some rest, he wouldn't be able to train in a few weeks of time.

Marco clearly wasn't happy about not being able to play football but, he nodded at the doctor occasionally and in the end promised that he would go by the rules and do his best to get better as soon as possible. The doctor then asked him to stay as still as he could for today, taking his time to recover a little bit so he could be cleared to go home tomorrow. Dr. Schneider closed the door behind him, politely, before Mario immediately turned to Marco.

"Are you really feeling better?" He asked.

"Yes, I am, I'm sorry that I scared you like that," Marco said, motioning Mario to get closer to him. Mario got closer, and sat on the edge of Marco's bed, allowing him to put one arm around him. Mario was careful, he didn't want to risk hurting Marco anymore, but couldn't help his instincts that wanted to get closer to Marco, to protect him.

"Thank God you are alright after all," Mario mumbled, kissing Marco's temple. God, he had been so afraid that he would never be able to do this again. He had had so many bad dreams of bad scenarios of what could have happened, so many bad mental images had popped up in his mind during the last couple of hours, and Mario was pretty sure that he might never forget them.

"Just give me a little time and I'll surely be alright sooner than you know it," Marco said, before Mario pulled a little further away from him.

"No, Marco, you'll take all the time you need to get better again. This injury is serious, and you promised the doctor to take it easy. You need to believe him and do what he told you to do." Marco was trying to be brave, he didn't show any true signs of discomfort or sadness, yet, but Mario knew that that time would come too. Marco hadn't been injured like this before, the realization of what really had happened hadn't probably hit him yet.

"Yes, and I will, but I want to be back playing as soon as possible, too," Marco answered, adamantly.

"Marco, I'm serious, I won't let you strain yourself now. You're more important than football, and don't get me wrong, I also want you to get better as soon as possible, of course, but you need to take it easy, too.”

"I know... Thank you for staying by my side, it means a lot to me," Marco said, smiling gratefully. Mario could see the love and appreciation shining through his eyes.

"And believe me, I won't leave your side at all for the next weeks, I'm going to take such a good care of you," Mario said, meaning every word. He would be there for Marco, showing him his love and doing everything he possibly could, to get Marco to feel better, and make sure that his boyfriend would really take his time to recover, and be back on the pitch, surely safely.

"I love you," Marco said, blowing a kiss towards Mario.

"I love you, too."


	23. Time to think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue_Night, thank you so much for getting this story going again and doing the beta reading for me, I hope that you still like this story :-)   
> To everybody else who's been reading, thank you for the feedback, every kudo and comment means a lot and I hope that you'll share your opinion with me again!

Being injured sucked, it always sucked. Now Marco was injured again, and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.

He had come back home only yesterday, and he was already ready to jump around the walls. Marco had been ordered to stay in bed for a couple of days and not do any straining physical activity other than walking short distances, which meant really short distances, only walking around the house would do. It's not like Marco could have walked more or done anything else, anyway, his head hurt a lot at times and the brightest lights irritated his eyes and made his headache even worse. His arm did hurt too, not as much as his head and the pain was bearable, but, every time he tried to raise it even a little bit, he felt sharp pain stinging him all over his shoulder. He was slowly and certainly starting to become crazy for not being able to do nearly anything and having to watch his arm and his head all the time.

The worst thing was that he hadn't actually had to watch out anything. Mario was making everything so safe for him, he had almost placed a pillow on every sharp edge of their house, even though it of course wasn't necessary at all. Mario had been sure that Marco would stay in bed, he had cooked for him, brought him breakfast in bed, he had even carried the TV from downstairs to their bedroom so that Marco wouldn't have to move in order to find some entertainment. He had also taken their dog to stay with his brother for a while, so that she wouldn't run around and make Marco trip on the short distances he had to walk to the bathroom and back. None of these things were actually necessary, Marco knew that he was in an okay shape and Mario wouldn't have had to do all of that, but no matter how hard Marco had tried to tell him that, his boyfriend wouldn't listen.

What Mario did was of course really sweet, and he had made the time Marco had had to stay home a lot more bearable, and somewhat good, too. Marco felt really spoiled by everything Mario did for him. He had waken him up a couple of times last night, just like the doctor had told him to, and after Marco had waken up and told Mario that his head was fine, Mario had embraced him from behind and his steady breathing had lulled Marco back into sleep.

He had slept peacefully, mostly because Mario was right next to him all the time, giving him warmth and shelter, and the pain medication he took was quite strong. He had had some weird dreams already in the hospital, and they were still bothering him, but had decided to ignore them. All he had seen in the dreams had been some unknown men in tuxedos, and something golden had been flickering in the background, but so far he hadn't made any sense of what it was.

Mario had been quiet about his own problems around Marco even though Marco had told him that he should tell him if something was wrong, but so far nothing new had seemed to be wrong with Mario, maybe he had just been really absorbed in taking care of Marco that he hadn't thought of his own worries that much. Marco also did the best he could to look out for Mario not having to pile up his problems just for him, even though he was injured and didn't feel well it didn't mean that he couldn't think rationally for his boyfriend.

Marco had had quite a lot of time to think, he had been alone for a couple of hours yesterday when Mario had reluctantly left to work when Marco had nearly pushed him out of the door, wanting Mario to have a few hours for himself and not just worry about him constantly. Mario hadn't wanted to leave, but Marco had somehow managed to convince him that he should go, reminding Mario of how the doctor had mentioned that it would be alright if Marco stayed by himself for a couple of hours, and that someone would have to go grocery shopping soon, anyway. Mario had a bit sadly blown a kiss in his direction, and then, left.

During the time Marco had been alone, Marco had mostly thought about his weird dreams, the dreams he had had again when he had fallen asleep for a couple of hours during the day when Mario had been at work, but he had also thought about him and Mario, their future, their plans and what would this season of football bring to them. Marco already missed playing even though it had been less than three days since the last time he touched a ball, but he did miss it.

In the evening Mario had allowed Marco to come to eat downstairs with him and stay for a while with him on the couch, Mario only half embracing Marco because of his still injured arm. Mario had seemed to calm down during the day, not sounding that worried anymore as he talked about other things and not only Marco's injury. Marco had been grateful for that, he was already thinking about his accident nearly all the time, along with all the other things in his mind and it was nice to hear what had work been like for Mario.

Marco had started to kiss Mario as silence had fallen between them, hoping that the situation might escalate into something more, but Mario had stopped him before he had even laid his not-injured hand on Mario. Mario had made him clear that he would consider no sex until Marco was definitely better and would be back into training. Later that evening, Marco had tried again, starting to kiss Mario when they had gone to bed, and his boyfriend had almost given in, kissing Marco until the both of them were breathless, but, he had stopped in the very last minute.

 

\---

 

After a few similar days later, Marco had managed to convince Mario that he was fine enough to go outside and further than their garden. Ever since the accident, Marco's phone had been ringing nearly constantly and he had gotten many requested of interviews. He hadn't yet thought about taking any of them but accepting one seemed to be his way out of the house, at least for a little longer way than just a walk around their garden. His manager had also recommended that he should take at least one interview where he'd talk about the happenings himself.

He had gone to their garden with a little football in his hand, bouncing it against the flat stones that formed a path around the garden. He knew that he probably shouldn't have gone to the garden in the first place but he couldn't stand staying inside anymore, he wanted to have some freedom and hear the birds singing.

He kept bouncing the ball, feeling a small smile tucking at the corners of his mouth, feeling relaxed and happier. He felt like he could be back on the pitch sooner than he even thought he would.

"Marco! There you are!" Marco heard Mario shout so he turned his head towards him. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Mario ran towards Marco, stopping only a couple of meters behind him. "You were nowhere to be seen, I thought that something had happened!"

His bad conscience hit Marco as he realized that he really must have scared Mario, and he smiled at his boyfriend, letting the ball bounce away and taking his hand instead. "I'm sorry darling, I know, I should have left a note or something, but I haven't had a headache in a long time now and wanted to spend some time outside," Marco said, kissing Mario's cheek gently, seeing how his boyfriend calmed down.

"And how are you? You're not hurting, are you?" Mario asked, still concerned.

"I'm very well, thank you for asking. I feel a lot better than yesterday, maybe I can be back on the pitch sooner than I think."

"I don't know Marco, it has only been a couple of days..." Mario began. "You should take it easy."

"I know, and I will. But I didn't think about going back to the pitch to play yet, at least not yet. I got quite a few calls from differently reporters, wanting to interview me of what happened, and I thought about accepting one. I could go to Westfalenstadion to do the interview, and I might as well watch the training at the same time. It would be good to get outside and see the guys again, you know?" Marco said, hoping that Mario would like his idea of him coming to watch the training.

"That sounds good, as long as you really feel good enough to do it," Mario said, but smiled. He seemed to be relieved that Marco felt better.

"I do, Mario, I swear," Marco said, and laid a chaste kiss on Mario's lips.

 

\---

 

Marco sat on the passenger seat, his cheeks red because of the embarrassment he felt, as Mario was opening his seatbelt. "God, this is humiliating!" He groaned. He saw people around, they were in front of Westfalenstadion, and he had tried to stop Mario from coming around the car to open his seatbelt, but after a few times of trying by himself and failing miserably because of his injured arm, he had had no other choice than to accept Mario's help with opening the all-too-difficult sports car seatbelt.

Mario had driven them to the stadium where Marco would have his interview with the magazine, they were a little late since Mario and Marco had had some difficulties with dressing Marco up with something more elegant than a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. It had been a long and a sweaty process, and when they had gotten into the car they had realized that they were inevitably going to be a little late from Marco's meeting with the reporter.

"Come, on, there we go," Mario said, chuckling and blowing a kiss towards Marco.

Marco tried to get up from the car but that proved out to be difficult too, he didn't know how they had chosen to come with his particular car nor how he had gotten into it in the first place. Normally, Marco wouldn't have had trouble with getting out of the low car, but now with one of his arms out of play, it was a little difficult. "Let me give you a hand," Mario said, offering Marco his hand and Marco took it gratefully, as Mario supported his hips the best he could with his other hand to lift Marco up.

When they finally got Marco into a standing position again, both of them heard a camera flash pop out, before a bright light nearly blinded their visions. Mario flinched as his grip on Marco's hand and hips tightened, as their visions slowly cleared again. "Great, here we have the first picture for our feature!" They heard someone say, as their visions cleared, and they saw a reporter waving his camera, excitedly.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always more than appreciated, and if there are any questions please do ask!


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